Shadowlane Part XI: My Final Scene of the Weekend

Geez... I'm on post XI already. :-p  Here are all the others if you would like to see what I have been blabbing on about!

                              Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V 
                             Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X

As the suites started to wind down, we slowly started to head up to suite 1016 for our super-overly-competitive-game-time. ;)  As we waited for everyone to show up, StrictDave's blowgun made another appearance.  OS was aiming for a water bottle and managed to dart the chair and the magazine that was the background behind the water bottle. It definitely was much harder to shoot than it looked!  I was very intrigued to try it, and Somaholiday passed on her words of wisdom that was taught to her by StrictDave.  Giving it a try, I managed to nail the water bottle on the first try.  Turns out, I was oddly good at shooting the thing and now I want one!  I'm not a hunter or anything (in fact I like to think that my protein magically shows up packaged at supermarkets as opposed to what really happens), but you never know.  It never hurts to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Most likely I will get it and shoot up the shed in my backyard for two months before getting sick of it and never using it again.  :-P

It was nice to hang out and chat, and I was looking up something on my phone when OS asked if we had a few minutes.  Since not everyone was there yet, of course we did.  Me being as dense as I am didn't understand what he was asking, so without looking up from my phone I told him kind of snarkyish if he needed a few minutes, take a few minutes.  "Do what you have to do OS!  We'll wait for you!"  He responded with a "good" and picked up his nasty hairbrush from the coffee table and grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the bedroom.  I protested because I honestly thought he had to use the bathroom or something.  

Inside the bedroom he told me to get in the corner.  I let out a disgruntled noise and shot a dirty look because I hate standing in the corner.  He responded with, "you know how I like you to stand in the corner, so it would be in your best interest to do that!!"

I sighed and stuck my nose in the corner but realized I still had my phone in my hand.  I turned to him and held it up and he took it saying that that was a wise move. I turned my nose back to the corner and he pulled my pj bottoms down to where they were hugging my lower cheeks.  

I do struggle with corner time.  I have a.d.d. and am unable to stand still in one spot for very long.  Corner time has been a battle of my wills vs my desire to please my play partners.  I hate it, but I like that my partners enjoy it and want to please them as well.  Thankfully OS seems to understand not to push and has never made me stand in the same spot for too long.  His tone and demeanor put butterflies in my tummy and I was a tiny bit nervous when he called me over to him.  

He pulled me over his lap and started to spank as he asked me if I knew why I was getting this particular spanking.  In my defense, it was very late Sunday night (technically Monday morning) of a spanking party and thanks to the abnormally long party drought for me between BBW and Shadowlane, I may have done and said a lot of sassy things in the four months between parties.  I was not sure what exactly he was talking about, and I also didn't want to provide any more ammunition just in case I was reminding him about things he didn't think of or things he maybe had forgotten about.  

Slightly amused, he told me to think harder and switched to that nasty hairbrush.  Trying desperately to think up the correct answer, I begged for a timeline.  Slightly smirking he said, "sure!  It was last May!"  I believe that was when the panties came down.

That did help and at first I asked if it was the online detention slips/punishment book shenanigans (it wasn't) and then I remembered the photo.  The Ohio State finger salut.  That brought us closer to the real reason.  Now it was not the picture (he does have a sense of humor) that he was thinking about, but an actual reaction to something I did/texted that was very real and very powerful to me that that was what he was spanking me for.  It is so hard for me to let people get inside my head, and he nailed it.  This was something I struggle with (with everyone, not just him or Spankos) and he had just called me out on it.  

I do not get spanked for real things very often, and by real I mean something I do not do on purpose.  It may seem like such a little thing to anyway else, but for me it was something that I have and continue to battle in my neurotic brain and occasionally get taken advantage of because if it.  When I pulled it on OS, he called it out way back in May, but it didn't register with me at the time.  That is how often I do this. It is second nature and I don't realize I am doing it.  I know it must be frustrating because I am not saying what it is, but this is my blog so you will just have to deal with it. ;)

My mindset had completely changed and I was caught slightly off guard, mostly because that is how rare it is to get in my head and put me into a submissive demeanor.  I was sorry and I no longer knew how to react.

The scolding made my eyes water and I tried very hard to stay focused and do as he asked.  The hairbrush continued to come down as I struggled against the sting of the wood wishing that I had played more during the day to be warmed up enough to take it gracefully.  My mind was still processing pain, scolding, and being disappointed with myself not to be more trusting of someone I adore so much.  

I don't remember ever seeing such a serious look on OS's face before. He took off his belt and told me that he was going to reinforce this lesson with his belt to help me remember in the future.  

I am not sure exactly what is wrong with me, but I do know that if I say the right words our scene will wrap up.  However, I became tongue tied.  I'm not sure if it is my inner stubbornness to test his resolve and see if he really DOES mean it, or the fact that I really felt that I deserved the discomfort, or the fact that my headspace was in the right spot to accept stroke after stroke, but I stayed silent with the exception of shrieks when the belt came down on a particularly tender spot.  The strokes continued with out stopping for quite a while.  I'm not even sure how long he ended up strapping me.  I turned a few times to see if I could catch his eye and possibly end the scene with my "I'm really sorry eyes", but the look and focus on his face was one of a top that wasn't going to stop until I submitted to what he had asked.  

Something in my brain finally clicked and I found my words.  Our scene wrapped up with some remarks, and then because I opened up my big mouth and made some remarks in an attempt to lighten my mood and be funny, I ended up back on the bed for a few more. 

OS told me that my bottom was very red and to go check it out in a mirror.  He was right.  It was the reddest I have seen it in a long time and I actually regret that we didn't get a picture.  I think that almost all the marks I got from the weekend were from this one scene. He gave me a big hug and whispered how he loved me, but as the adrenaline from the scene was wearing off, I was actually shaking and needed to sit down.  OS grabbed me some water as I calmed down and tried to de-fuzz my brain.  Of course in this moment I started apologizing for shaking and because I was just now realizing how long I had let that scene go on when others were waiting for us. I was even told to take a sip of water every time I wanted to say I was sorry, but I really wanted to apologize for being a pain in the ass and not submitting earlier.  He just shook his head and said, "you can't help yourself, can you!?"  I promise to keep working on it!

Thinking back, it was pretty selfish of me to hog up all his time, but it was the type of intensity that I had been craving for a long time and he is one of the few tops that I trust enough to give it to me.  When we went to join the rest of our friends for a night of games, sweet Stacy looked so concerned and she asked me if I was all right. I said yes, and thanked her for being so sweet and kind and nice enough to share her daddy.  Stacy and OS have this beautiful relationship and I know that they do not get to spend as much time together as they would like.  The fact that Stacy is nice enough to share her precious time is something I am incredibly grateful for.  She could easily tell me to go away and I would be more than happy to oblige! It is this kindness that makes us feel as if we are a real family.  We genuinely care for each other.  Heck, it is much nicer than what my real family is capable of giving.  :-P  

The adrenaline was definitely wearing off and I could feel the results of that particular spanking as I sat on the couch to get ready for an intense version of spanko catchphrase!

Shadowlane Part IX: Punished and Dealing with Party Life as a Crazy Person.

Catch up on my other party posts:

         Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII

After a nice drive back to the hotel with Dirk and Pubsie, I headed upstairs with a brief stop into the other suite before heading to ours.  While walking down the hallway, I realized that I didn’t have my phone on me.  I assumed that I left the phone in the car, so I asked Pubsie if he could run down and try to catch Dirk before the valet parked his car.

While freshening up, it occurred to me that maybe I had left my phone in the other suite and so I headed back down to 1016.  After knocking Stacy held up my phone and said, “here it is!  Pubsie called and I answered it… he said to tell you that you are in BIG trouble.”

I closed my eyes for a second and said thank you for finding my phone and letting them know it was up here.  OS was laughing because he thought that it was awesome that Pubsie announced that I was in trouble.  We do not have a DD dynamic in our relationship, so Pubsie actually announcing that meant he was REALLY annoyed with me.

After that comment there was no way I was going back to my suite.

 

Rather quickly Dirk and Pubsie arrived at the suite and my one idea was to hide.  Pretty much a classic cousin panicked based plan, I ran into Heather's, Somaholiday's, and OS’s bedroom and darted to the closet.  Why was this a classic cousin plan?  I was trapped without a real plan of action, but at the time I thought it was a great idea!  Since jules was unable to make this party, I apparently began to channel her spirit.  ;)

It worked for a second because Pubsie thought I hid in the bathroom.  However, Dirk checked the closet and pulled me out.  I was feeling horrible when both gentlemen started to scold me.  I did have to yell back, because both men thought it would be funny to make it out much worse than it was and I was already at the point of tears.  They did end up ripping out the back seat of Dirk’s rental car, but luckily no permanent car damage was done.

Pubsie bent me over the bed and took off his belt and began to strap me for the hassle.  OS decided it would be extra helpful to put his ridiculous ginormous hairbrush on the bed.  I glared at him and told him to mind his own business, and luckily both Dirk and Pubsie were too…“distracted” to notice the hairbrush.  When Pubsie was done he offered his belt to Dirk since I inconvenienced him as well.  Dirk was all too happy to comply.

I could tell that Pubsie was still a little annoyed, but Dirk was very forgiving.  He told me that it was worth it since he got to belt me.  I’m glad that Dirk is so easily appeased. 

I’ve mentioned before how I am a little “bat-shit-crazy” and with the emotions that run high throughout a whole weekend, there tends to be a moment where I finally break.

My anxiety embarrasses me.  I hate for people to see me cry.  I hate thinking that people are judging me because of my anxiety.  I am afraid that people are thinking that I am just looking for attention, and I am afraid that people think they have to walk on eggshells around me because of it.

One of the reasons why I am willing to talk about it is because for years I thought I was the only person who dealt with anxiety.  Growing up it was hard to keep friends because of it.  Who wants to be friends with a crybaby?  So I learned to hide it as best as I could.  If I feel a panic attack coming on, I try to sneak away until I can get a control of my emotions.  Without being on anxiety drugs, it is harder to calm down.  I want others who may also deal with anxiety to understand that they are not alone and to never be afraid to talk to others about it if help is needed.

What the trigger was is not important, but while I was in the suite with everyone I felt my panic rise and I started having difficulty breathing.  Trying to remain calm, I smiled and laughed with everyone as I slowly got up and moved to the door in hopes of being able to sneak out unnoticed.  I headed down to our suite and moved into our bedroom.  Still feeling that I was too exposed, I locked myself into our bathroom and sat in our tub as I cried and tried to gain control of myself.  I’m not sure how long I was in the bathroom, but I eventually managed to calm myself down enough to get out and move towards getting a bottle of water.

Apparently I did not escape completely unnoticed.  When I opened the bathroom door I noticed that Kor-E was in the room waiting for me to come out.  When I saw him I instantly teared up again embarrassed to have been caught.  He and I had a long talk and even played a bit.  I was feeling better after our talk, but the well had been tapped and I knew that I would need some more time before I would be ready to face everybody.

Pubsie came down and gave me a big hug, and I asked him to leave me alone for a bit.  Until I was able to pass the eye makeup test (not crying with eye makeup on!), I didn't want to go downstairs and I didn't want him to think he had to stay and babysit me while a party was going on.  I was afraid of people noticing that something was wrong.

I was hiding in the room when my beautiful wifey came in.  She hadn't realized that I had been hiding and she was quick to provide a big hug.  We were able to talk and I was finally starting to feel normal again.  With Pubsie texting me to come down to the suite parties, and Aurora’s ‘lovin’, I finally felt like I could come back to joining everyone.

For those of you who know me, you know I smoke.  I have manage to stop smoking but have a few triggers that I have not yet gotten past.  One hurdle was not smoking at a spanking party.  I was doing so well that I actually felt like I could brag about it.  I figured if I told people I wasn't smoking I would make sure that I wasn't smoking.  After this anxiety attack I only had one thing on my brain.  Get a cigarette and REALLY relax.

Of course the first cigarette I was able to bum, out came YS, Beth, and Ellee.  That was the end of my bragging.  I do wish I could have gone a whole spanking weekend without smoking, but considering I normally go through a pack and half a party weekend, the two cigarettes (the second smoke is for a later story) that I had were a strong start and hopefully the next party I can make it the whole weekend. 

Finally feeling up to seeing people, I took a deep breath and headed down to join the Sunday night suite party in 460.

Shadowlane Part VIII: Spanking Court and The Hofbräuhaus

If you missed the other parts: 

                   Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII

Morning rolled around and our suite was slowly getting up to head down to Strictdave’s Spanking Court.   Since I was the first person ready and I didn’t want to be late, I headed down myself and managed to pull up a spot of floor in the front row.  I felt that this year there was the perfect amount of court cases.  Not too many and all that were amusing.

For my “Reckless Abandonment” case, even though there were several people in the suite Friday night, Heather was the person I called up on charges.  1.)  I knew she would show up to court.  2.)  I knew she would be okay with being called up on court charges.  3.)  She was the person I asked to make she it was okay that I used their restroom, and 4.)  I knew she would be smart, witty, and hilarious.

I presented my case and attempted to be entertaining as I explained the horror of coming out of the bathroom to an empty suite and thinking everyone was playing a joke on me… only to find out nope, they left me.  I had laughs and awwwwws and one gasp as I said, “What the fuck!”   Heather fought back and presented a good defense, however, Strictdave would end up ruling in my favor.  I wasn’t completely out of the woods though, because even though I was telling a story, I was sentenced two swats with leather because I said, “fuck” for contempt of court.  I got up and forgot my hug from SD and had to deal with the laughter of “abandoning” Dave.   Heather took her swats like a champ and smiles were prevalent from everyone watching the court case.

Court continued and ended with a very memorable case of Sandy vs Rad.  You know it would be good when Rad feigned surprise and exclaimed, “WHAT THE FUCK!?” when his case was announced (I would like to point out the double standard of him NOT being charged with contempt of court. ;) )  Sandy accused Rad of ruining a romantic moment and Rad defended himself by working the audience (lots of awwwwwwws from the women) and proclaiming that Sandy knew what she had gotten herself into when she married him AND that she wouldn't have him any other way.  Rad even managed to get Bob the DJ to play Sandy and Rad’s wedding dance song.  It was an adorable mixture of humor and love shared between two.

As court ended, the cat herding began as a group of us met to head down to the strip to eat tapas.  I ended up in OS's car with Aurora, Corey, and a man I hadn't met before and can’t remember his handle.  The three in the back chatted as I entertained OS with stories of my youth.  Very exciting stories.  In fact, I was so wrapped up in my stories that I wasn't paying attention to the GPS as it squawked for us to turn.  I was horrified.  It looked as if everyone had been following us, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise.  Apparently I had put the wrong address into the GPS and OS was driving based on his memory of the location.  My face was bright red as we parked the car and I felt horrible considering I really only had ONE job.

Lunch itself was a delicious variety of Tapas and Sangria.  We put our trust into StrictDave to order and we were not disappointed.  It was such a wonderful mixture of food.  The sangria was my favorite part and I've been craving it since leaving the restaurant!

After lunch, more than half the group headed back to get ready for the Singapore Prison group role play.   Since we were not participating, Pubsie and I stayed with the group that was visiting the strip and heading to the Hofbräuhaus to experience their “shots.”  I had never been to the Hofbräuhaus in Vegas but was well aware of their tradition of spanking anyone with their paddles for ordering a shot.   OS was a little *TOO* excited when he told the waitress that he wanted to buy shots for all the ladies.  The waitress let out an evil smile and said, “I may look innocent, but I love to spank!”  OS even told her that the harder she spanked us, the higher her tip would be.

The shots came out and the waitress came out with the biggest grin on her face.  She pulled us up one by one, made us bend over the table,  spread our legs, and checked our back pockets to make sure nothing was there.  She gave us three swats, two light swats and one hard.  When I bent over the table for my swats, I was well aware of the number of people who were watching our large, cheering group.   She gave out her two light swats, and then let me have it.  I actually shrieked in surprise and jumped up.  Everyone cheered and we moved onto the next girl.  We had so much fun, we ended up ordering another round of shots, this time for EVERYONE (even the guys) in our group.  There was a lot of hooting and hollering, and more people in the restaurant were interested in getting their own spankings.

Being in a vanilla setting indulging our kink was an incredibly liberating feeling.  We enjoyed our beverages, did our shots, and bent over for public spankings!  We laughed as the waitress told Stacy that for some reason she was hard to hit.  We laughed as the table next to us told Heather that she took her paddling like a champ!  We laughed as Maria became a “mean” drunk, and Aurora was called out on her wiggling.  We nearly died as Dirk bought OS a shot just to watch him get paddled.  We all left the restaurant grinning from ear to ear. 

We headed back to the hotel to get ready for our last night together in Vegas.


***EDIT***

I can't believe I forgot to add this part!  While in the bathroom, two vanilla girls came in.  I was washing my hands when I head one girl say, "Man... i have some redness!"  Her friend responded with, "yeah... that can happen!"  I almost wet myself running out of the bathroom to meet back with our group of friends and share that little tibit!

Part VI

Catch up on the other blog posts here:

                    Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V

After the British discipline session, Aurora and I headed back to our room to change for the TTYL (tight, thongs, yoga pants, leggings) party.  This is one of the suite parties that makes me really nervous. I do not think I look nice in anything that is form fitting, but I hate missing out on seeing friends.  Sucking it up and putting my big girl panties on, I put on a pair of leggings and tried not to think of how it must look to everyone else.  This is one reason why having anxiety sucks.  I know that my brain is lying to me, but I can't help but believe it a little. 

We arrived to the suite and I quickly found my husband talking with RainySpanker, OS and Kor-E.  Kor-E apparently got my latte message and wanted to know what had really happened to the latte.  He seemed convinced that I drank it.  My stubborn side kicked in.  I told him that I have no idea what he was talking about and he should probably ask the maid since I had rejected his latte conditions. 

Kor-E bent me over a chair, and started interrogating me.  I was super stubborn. I refused to admit that I knew anything about the location, condition, and/or taste of said latte. No one gets away with putting on added conditions to my latte beverages without giving me the chance to reject them!

I knew that I wasn't going to budge. I threw out a compromise. Take away the conditions on the latte, and maybe I will remember what had happened to the latte.  

Since he was being completely unreasonable and refusing to acknowledge my compromise, it was time for me to throw out some bigger ammunition. 
"I have offered a compromise!" I said accusingly,  "if you don't take it, you are going to ruin me for the entire weekend!" :(

Kor-E wavered for a few more strokes before finally agreeing to remove the conditions that were attached to the gifted latte. 

I promptly admitted that I drank the latte and it was delicious.  ;)

After our battle of the wills scene, Kor-E apparently had spanker's remorse.  He told me I was not allowed to look at him or smile at him the rest of the afternoon.  

I enjoyed the afternoon party chatting and talking and enjoying a few of the scenes that were going on around me.  I unfortunately can no longer remember what had prompted the next of my scenes, but apparently OS and RainySpanker have some type of secret code.  The next thing I knew they had two chairs facing each other and pulled me over both of their knees.  OS focused on the right while RainySpanker focused on the left (I think), and the two continued to spank me simultaneously.  It was quite the interesting sensation that had me struggling since there wasn't any pause or break to give my cheeks a chance to recover before the next swat came down.  The scene also attracted the attentions of many of the party goers as they watched the chaos.  It really appealed to my exhibitionist side even though it is kind of bothering me that I am not sure what had triggered the scene and what the secret code signal between OS and RainySpanker had been!

We hung around a bit more before heading back up to our suite for some beverages.  It would be soon time to get ready for our evening dinning plans and we were giving strict instructions to be dressed and ready to go on time!

Shadowlane Part IV

If you just got here:

Part I    Part II   Part III

After our detention, Aurora and I headed back to our room to change and go join the suites.   I was looking forward to visiting both Tom and Joe’s suites and I am always grateful that they are willing to open up their suites to entertain the spanking masses.  We headed to Tom’s suite first and right away I saw YS and he gestured for me to come over to him.  I have gotten to know YS and Ellee over the past two years and YS and I had never played before.  I was so excited that he had asked me and the two of us ducked into one of the side bedrooms.  YS claims that he is a converted vanilla,  but I do not believe that!  He spanks way too good to be a vanilla at heart.  ;)  We had such a lovely scene with both his hand and his belt, and of course some giggles mixed in.  First Tom had walked into the bedroom to let us know that pizza had arrived.  I said, “Thanks, Tom”  and we started laughing at the thought of stopping the scene to run and grab some pizza and then continuing with said pizza in hand.  Of course a few minutes later I turned my head to the side and saw a man standing in the doorway eating a piece of pizza without a plate, leering at our scene.  I could not help but start laughing again.  

YS was very perceptive.  I tend to tense up when playing with someone new, and he called me out on it.  However, as he was spanking me with his belt he told me that if he wanted “to go hard, I needed to relax so I could take it.”  I couldn't help myself and blurted out, “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” and we both started laughing.  We finished our scene where he provided wonderful rubs and aftercare.  I was so happy that we had been able to play and am looking forward to doing it again!

 We moved from suite to suite and then headed back to 1016 to hang out and visit.  Sweet little Beth had been acting a bit feisty and I am not one hundred percent sure how this happened, but next thing I knew Beth was threatening to hairbrush Stacy and Heather promised to take ten swats from Beth if Beth was able to give Stacy all ten.  Watching Beth be drunk with power was hilarious.  After every swat she would make an evil grin and then proceed to make a speech.  She made it through Stacy’s hairbrushing and grinned wildly at Heather.  For someone reason, Heather’s agreement was changed from 10 to 20, and over Beth’s lap she went.  Beth once again continued with her monologues, but this time it was accompanied with pushing Heather’s head down onto the bed every time she lifted it up.  It felt good to laugh so hard.  :)

Back into the main living room of the suite, a few handful of people were still hanging around.  I asked Heather if she would mind if I used the restroom in her bedroom.  I was washing my hands when I heard a loud bang, and I wasn’t 100% sure what the sound was.  I walked out to the living room and… it was empty.  At first I thought that everyone was hiding (not unusual for this group), but a quick peek around the hotel made me realize… they had forgotten about me.   The loud bang I heard must have been the door closing.   Slightly hurt and slightly amazed that OUR group could move so fast, I went down a floor hoping to find people in the suites.  Kor-E ended up finding me first, and led me to Joe’s suite where everyone was at.  I ask, “What the crap!? You left me in the bathroom!!??”  There was some laughter but I knew that I would have my day in court!

Another late night and after hanging out a bit we slowly all moved towards bed.  We had another busy day ahead of us!

Shadowlane Part III: British Detention with Aurora

If you missed them:

Part I  Part II

My "just resting my eyes" turned into a full fledged nap, something I HATE doing at parties. ;)  I have a fear of sleeping when everyone else is awake.  What if I miss something?  Then everyone will be talking about that one spectacular moment and I will be the loser who has to admit that I was sleeping. 

Luckily I had set my alarm clock earlier to remind me that it was time to get ready.  Pubsie had come back to the room to wake me up and even though I was groggy, I wanted to make sure that I was ready and on time for my detention session.  

The British detention events have been occurring at the past few parties.  With a headmaster, head girl, witness and a punishment book that all the naughties must sign, this group does an amazing job at setting a scene for those of us with school girl fetishes! At BBW, Maria corralled all the cousins into a session and it was a blast.  About a week afterwards, I discovered that I had been carrying around my detention slip in my purse! Snickering to myself, I posted a picture of my slip online.  Then goody-two shoes Stacy felt the need to post hers and show everyone how she wasn't at all in the slightest bit of trouble. Since we all know *that* isn't true, I set out to prove that she really was a trouble maker!  Scheming, sleuthing, and pulling in resources from across the country, I was able to snag evidence that little Miss Stacy really did get in trouble!!  All of that happened four months ago, and as funny as it all was, it was pushed to the back of my mind.  

Until three days before Shadowlane. 

I was actually for once being a super good girl focusing on my work and trying to get myself ahead for the next week when I decided to take a quick perv break and sign on to fet. My @'s were lit up and I was greeted with this status message:

                           

Apparently someone decided to point a certain British headmaster to my mischievous thread and he felt the need to revive it.  

I was no longer able to focus on my work that night.  

Since I really wanted to do the detention again, and because I was too chicken to sign up alone, I volunteered Aurora to go with me. :)  I knew she would be game!  The two of us had gotten dressed and headed down to the detention suite to await our scheduled time. 

I would love to say that everything this weekend was absolutely perfect, but just prior to detention I had a not so good moment.  Our floor was mixed with both vanillas and Spankos and I was dressed in full school girl uniform.  Alex Reynolds was waiting outside the door in her school uniform, and when the door next to the British detention suite opened, a vanilla woman walked out and saw us hanging out in the hallway.  The woman instantly approached us and asked what was going on.  We didn't answer her and she pressed asking if this was some sort of fetish thing.  She seemed nice enough, just curious, but then went into this diatribe about how her 14 year old daughter was in the next room, and that we better not let the kid see us, blah, blah, and blah.  She continued on her way but my headspace was shot.  I teared and thought about my vanilla life and how that this was the first time in a long time that I was ashamed of being a spanko.

At that moment Stacy, Crashdance, and Somaholiday came down the hall to tease us, but they instantly saw my face and asked what was wrong.  This is why I love having my girls.  They could tell I was upset and worked to make it better.  By the time the door opened for me to walk in, I was feeling better and the looming figures of the British detention team was able to snap me back into place.  The mean vanilla lady was pushed to the back of my mind.  

Aurora and I were given out slips earlier and told not to open them.  I had protected mine by putting it in the room, but Aurora's was taken by RainySpanker and torn.  Boys can be so mean sometimes!  We presented our slips and I smirked as Aurora tried to explain what had happened.  My enveloped was opened and I was told to read my slip.  I almost cracked up as I read, "Kathryn's catalogue of naughtiness is too full to fit within these margins.  However, her attempts to trivialize this very process is something that is needed to be addressed urgently."

Headmaster Lewis asked for me to explain to the others what exactly I did.  I paused for a moment trying to figure out how to start and was then guided over Stephen Lewis's knee.  He began to spank me and told me to begin explaining.  I quickly told my cliff noted version of the story and was met with a British detention group that was trying very hard not to laugh.  I attempted to give my award winning smile, but it didn't help my case.

Next was Aurora and I can't remember exactly what it said, but it did involve her claims of always being the "good" one was clearly showing that she was actually a ring leader.  I was apparently smiling too hard at the thought of Aurora being punished.  When asked if I was enjoying this, I quickly said no, but after being yelled at to tell the truth, I admitted that I was.  I was then told to turn around and not watch. :(

Aurora was told to stand up and I was asked to bend over the table and stretch all the way across.  I receive a "six of the best" caning that was so yummy I almost smarted off just to receive more.  Aurora was next, and then the two of us were told to kneel on chairs that faced each other and watch as the other received a final three strokes.  

The play was great, but the best part happened next.  After we were told to thank the head girl for recording our punishments and Mr. Kennedy for witnessing it, the headmaster asked us to thank him for punishing him.  I tried to give him my winningest smile as I thanked him, but his stare down showed me that he wasn't buying it.  Then Aurora made this long speech thanking the headmaster that I knew was sincere, but actually sounded as if she was being a smart ass.  He then continued to stare her down and I couldn't help but cough out *RINGLEADER* under my breath.  The stern glare was directed back at me before he announced that he demanded to see us both back at 2pm the next day.  We left smiling and I couldn't help but laugh at the fact we were given "detention" during detention.  This had been such a wonderful scene and I thank Stephen Lewis for being willing to set this up for us!

Shadowlane Part I

I finally have something exciting to blog about!  Yay!

This past weekend my husband and I attended the annual Shadowlane party in Las Vegas!  Spankings AND Vegas??  Yes, please!

This party could not have come at a better time for me.  Due to vanilla commitments, I was unable to attend any parties this past summer.  Going this long from BBW to now and not seeing any scene friends has been torture!!

My mind has been "bat-shit-crazy" lately thanks to an unwanted job position transfer, a personal issue that has been haunting me for several months, and just not being able to take anxiety meds due to said personal issue.  Pretty much EVERYTHING had been making me anxious.  My anxiety attacks embarrass me, but most of the time I can control the lies and stay calm. Unfortunately, with all the added stress lately, it has been difficult to keep calm. When I get like this, my brain likes to tell lies and I am teetering on a fine line of being normal and freaking out. Worst part is, once I start freaking out more lies enter and I freak out about other people knowing I am freaking out or that my freak outs are pissing off my friends.  It's been a joy.  

So late Thursday afternoon I was very antsy to get started with my road trip.  Work was freaking me out and the thoughts of leaving my vanilla woes behind was very appealing.  I practically ran out to my husband's car so we could get started on our drive to airport.  The drive felt slow and getting though security was long!  You could probably understand my frustration when we were told that our flight was to be delayed an hour.  Pubsie took me to get a drink and forced me to eat something ( too excited to be hungry!) and luckily decided to do a quick check on our flight status!  We could not hear the announcements where we were, so we almost missed that our flight was back on time and currently boarding!

Rushing back to our gate I did a little squeal of joy.  I couldn't stand the thought of having to wait even longer and I've never ever had a flight that was delayed end up leaving on time after all!  Working our way on to the plane, I noticed a man in his seat checking out the backside of the woman in front of me. On closer inspection I realized it was Inspectherhide and decided to point my finger at him and smirk knowing EXACTLY what he was doing.  He knew he was busted so we both laughed, waved, and teased each other via Fetlife.  It is fun knowing that other spankos were on the plane!  Inspectherhide also offered to drive us to the hotel in his rental car!

As Pubsie and Inspectherhide went to pick up the rental car, I waited on my lovely wifey Aurora to hurry up and land!  I kept my eyes peeled for a blond midget in heels, and after what felt like forever I was finally able to give my wifey a huge hug!!!!  We grabbed her luggage and met the guys and were FINALLY able to head towards the hotel.  As exhausted as I was, I was getting a second wind of energy due to pure excitement!  Once at the hotel, Aurora, Pubsie and I headed up to our suite on the tenth floor that we were sharing with our dear friends Kor-E and Maria!  Excited we shared hugs and I knew I could not ask for better suite mates.  A quick change and I was ready to head down to the party and meet up with everyone!!  

UNFORTUNATELY, we landed pretty late and most people had already left the suites.  As we headed down, we managed to bump into Stacy, Crashdance, OlympicSpanker, and Somaholiday.  Hugs abound, I was hoping to convince the tired group to rally but was unsuccessful.  A couple of swats from OS and knowing I would see them all soon and that we had a whole weekend, Aurora and I headed down to greet a few more people in Joe's Suite. Dirk, Ros, Strictdave, Beth, Ellee, and YoggSothoth were still up, so more hugs were abound!  One of the funnier moments was when YS was trying to get Beth and/or Ellee to head to bed with him.  Neither girl wanted to go and YS announced to Beth that the suite was dead anyway.  Of course all of us who were sitting there turned to him and shouted, "HEY!"  We could not let that comment slide without giving him a hard time.  

Aurora and I managed to stay up and watch as the suite did finally empty with the exception of Joe, Strictdave, and Ellee.  Strictdave was helping to adjust the St. Andrew's Cross and spanking bench that Joe manage to rent for the weekend and did a short scene with Ellee.  Joe announced that it would be awesome to have an audience which caused both Aurora and I to shout out "HEY!" again.  Laughing we left the suite and headed up to our room to get some rest for the long, spanking filled weekend ahead!

XII: Saying Goodbye the Socially Awkward Spanko Way

This picture belongs further down, but I would rather have this pop up on the blog lists than the blister one!

This is my last party entry!  If you missed any click here:

Part I            Part V        Part IX

Part II        Part VI      Part X

Part III        Part VII       Part XI

Part IV        Part VIII       Part XII

After the awesome scene we all headed back down towards the suite parties.  I was loopy and a little out of it, but I'm pretty sure I had a huge dopey grin on my face.  Kor-E managed to take my hand and pull me over his knee.  I felt really bad because I was starting to come down and the reality of the spanking I just took was starting to hit.  I was sore.  I had a few spots in particular that really hurt even when just lightly touched.  One on my sit spot turned out to be a blister.  I literally had my bottom blistered!

An actual blister!!!!

Kor-E was barely touching me and I couldn't help but say, "Ouch!  Ow! Ow!"  He laughed and said that the ouchies were music to his ears!  I was still loopy from the scene before, but it was nice to Kor-E to cool me down.  I almost fell asleep over his lap I was so relaxed! Then he would touch an ouchie spot with his fingernails!  Even the nicest tops are really super mean. ;)

A group of our friends were sitting in the hallway outside of a suite room.  With my husband being there, I curled up next to him and put my head on his lap.  I'm not sure if I actually fell asleep, but he was pushing for me to go to bed.  I hate going to bed when everyone is still up.  I feel like I will miss something!!  He tricked me into going back to our room and lying on the bed to apply arinca and lotion to combat some of the bruising.  Once I was face down on the bed, I fell asleep and was not going back out to the party.  :(

Waking up came all too soon.  Apparently our hotel was trying to get back at us for our late night smacking sounds and decided to start drilling and hammering on the ceiling above us!  It was torture!!!  Who the hell drills and hammers above hotel rooms at 7 fucking am?  I was so tired that after tossing and turning, I was able to put a pillow around my ears and fall back asleep.  When I would wake the second time, the drilling would be finished.

Heather, Publikk, and I slowly started to pack up all the scattered clothing items and implements around our room.  Publikk and I had a few hours before we had to leave for our flight, and Uncle OS had extended his room stay and was nice enough to let us stick our suitcases in there before checkout.  Hugs farewell are the hardest things for me to do.  Sarah_Rocks and PPD were able to sneak away early in the morning without me balling my eyes out to her.  Poor jules wasn't as lucky!  I gave Uncle Mike and Aunt Miranda a huge hug and walked down to the lobby with jules to say goodbye.  I hate that we all live so far apart from one another.  I hate more that I work a job with such crappy pay that doesn't allow me to be able to visit everyone as much as I would like!  We gave final hugs and turned away to meet with some stragglers for lunch at the hotel buffet.

Strictdave, Stacy, Uncle OS, Ellee, Beth, YoggSothoth, Heather, Maria, Kor-E, Publikk and I took over a table to enjoy our last minute company with each other.  I was able to witness how evil StrictDave really is when poor little Ellee came bouncy back to the table with a bowl of ice cream and sprinkles and he decided to dump his left over shrimp legs into it!  The tragic look on her face was adorable and I felt so bad for her.  Luckily he set it right by getting her another bowl of ice cream with sprinkles.

Publikk and I were talking about taking one last walk on the boardwalk when he knocked over what I thought was water (it was sprite!) all over me.  My pants were soaked and uncomfortable and I had no desire to walk around with wet jeans for the rest of the day.  I asked Uncle OS if it was okay to use the hair dryer in his room to try and dry my pants.  On the way up I ran into my lovely mistress/wifey/ the Power Aurora and had to stop and give big hugs.  Aurora was starting a new adventure of her own this week moving her even farther way from me.  :(  I teared up saying goodbye and left shivering thanks to the stupid wet sprite pants.

I was able to get the hair dryer going and helped lessen the yuck of the sprite pants, but at that moment I decided to ruin any pleasant good bye I could have had by knocking over a bottle of red nail polish and having it shatter all over my foot and the floor of the hotel bathroom.  I was horrified at the huge mess I had just made and starting shrieking, "OH! OH! OH!"  StrictDave, Publikk, and Ellee came running to see what was wrong, and it took them a second to realize it wasn't blood all over my foot, but nail polish!  If you have ever spilled nail polish before, you know what a bitch it is to clean up.  I was in full panic/horror mode because I felt so horrible that my klutziness managed to make a disaster of a mess right before we had to leave.  I ran and got some paper towels, picked glass out of my foot, and tried to wipe up as much as the nail polish I could.  Panicking I sent Publikk to run down to the store and pick up some nail polish remover and I fought back tears as I tried my hardest to clean the mess up.  Stacy came upstairs and saw my mess and grabbed some nail polish remover pads and began to help me clean up the floor.  I felt horrible in making her help and by using up all her nail polish remover.  We were able to get the majority of the nail polish off the ground, and in retrospect it really wasn't that big of a disaster as I felt it to be, but it's those types of dumb klutzy things that I do that make me nervous that everyone will shun me and leave being mad at me.

Because I felt horrible, I couldn't help but apologize a million times.  Apparently I was apologizing too much, and Kor-E felt the need give me a "proper" goodbye/reminder to not apologize too much. Then when I called Publikk to let him know he didn't need to buy the nail polish remover, I kept apologizing to him on the phone because I felt bad ruining HIS last moments.  Apparently I was told that if I apologized one more time I would get the hairbrush, and even then I continued to say I was sorry.  I couldn't help it!  I felt so guilty and I still feel guilty.  I was then bent over the chair and given the most confusing hairbrush spanking ever!  I had to say I wasn't sorry, but then I kept apologizing for saying I'm sorry!!  So I was sorry for being sorry and that didn't help either!  At least it made me giggle and stop freaking out!

The sorry I'm sorry spanking!  Photo by the lovely Stacymacy

For the record and I promise the final time I will say it, I really am sorry that that was how I managed to end our time together!  I'm sorry that I broke the nail polish, shrieked, and made a huge mess.  I am sorry that I left glass and nail polish all over the bathroom floor.  I am sorry that I used up all the nail polish remover wipes and made Publikk run to the store to grab some more when he didn't need to.  I'm sorry I used up several paper towels and potentially made the maids super angry and would have caused them to file extra charges to the room for my klutziness.  I am so sorry that I caused that huge mess moments before we had to leave.

It was time for last minute hugs and there were so many people that I wanted to hang on to and never let go.  That final goodbye and party drop is the worse.  I do not have many close vanilla friends, especially in the town I currently live in.  To have found so many wonderful, lovely people who as a bonus happen to be spankos too, and then sprinkle them all over the country far away from me is one of the cruelest tortures the universe has thrown my way.

Publikk and I left the suite floor for the last time and met up with Melville who would be flying back home with us.  The hour and a half to the airport was spent chatting and discussing the wonderful weekend.  I sat in the back of the van as we drove lost in my emotions and thoughts.  I sent a few texts in an attempt to hold on to the awesome weekend and began jotting down any notes and memories from the weekend that I could in order to help organize my thoughts.  I felt the soreness of the weekend as I sat in the van, moved around the airport, and settled down onto the plane.  I smiled to myself as I leaned against my Pubsie and tried not to let myself cry the whole way home.

Thank you to EVERYONE who made my weekend as amazing as it was.  I love you all so much and have bought some lottery tickets in the hope of being able to someday buy the spanking island commune for all of us.

BBW Post XI: Sunday Night Suite Parties and One of my Best Scenes Ever

If you missed any, start here:

Part I

As detention ended, the girls heading on down to join the many people already filling up the suites.  Even though the official party was over, so many people were staying Sunday night.  The atmosphere seems much more relaxed as friends chat and play some last minute scenes.  It is always fun to see the different type of relationships that form and/or strengthen throughout the weekend.  

I watched as certain scenes were set up and smiled as I watched a nervous Heather still in her school girl outfit waiting to get her detention slipped signed.  I threw Aurora under the bus since Publikk hadn't spanked all 3/3s of the power.  I watched hugs being given, drinks being poured, and a wave of happy content outpouring from each of the individual faces of all the party attendees.  

Topjosh and I had swore that we would get a scene in at some point this weekend.  Since it was already Sunday night and we still had not played, he pulled me aside and tried to find some place to play.  All the rooms in the suites were hopping so I suggested that we go down to our room.  Apparently Publikk and Sarah_Rocks had the same idea, so I asked Topjosh if he was okay if they came down to the room as well.

Poor Topjosh!  I don't think he realized what he was signing up for when both Sarah and I are together in a room.  The two of us feed off of each other and Sarah's banter is hilarious.  Josh was cracking up for our entire scene and it was one of the most fun and light-hearted moments of the party!  I was so glad we were able to finally connect and play more than just a few smacks at the end of a party!

As the night went on, I was really hoping that Uncle OS and I would get the chance to reconnect after our earlier scene didn't happen.  Unfortunately for me, I was having a few of my nagging thoughts picking away at my happy thoughts and I was feeling very insecure.  The wave of emotion one goes through at a party is hard on the normal person.  I'm not a normal person, lol.  When emotions, and adrenaline, and hormones build up, I start to become shaky and lose any confidence that I may have.  As much as I wanted this scene, there was no way I was going to ask for it. Being told "no" twice in one party especially by someone I care about may have resulted in my quitting of the scene and turning vanilla forever more!  I also didn't want him to feel like we had to play in some pity play type of way.  So although I had bratted and teased, I wanted him to be sure he knew that he didn't have to play with me.  

Luckily he told me that he still needed to "deal" with me, but he needed to take care of something first. I hung out waiting with butterflies building in my tummy.  I was really worried that I was coming off as way too needy and I paced a little in the hallway in an attempt to calm myself down.   It was nice that while I was waiting a few people asked if I was interested in playing.  I declined stating that I was waiting for a scene and because at that point in the weekend I was starting to wonder what my tolerance was.  When would it be the "last spank" that I could handle?   Unfortunately, Kor-E was one of the people I had to say no and wait until later, but I knew that he knew I was waiting and that there was no way we would go a party without him getting his hands on me!

My nerves had built up and I started pacing again as I waited.  In my head I felt that it was very important for me to mention that I was okay with him not wanting to play and provide him with an out.  When I saw him and his lovely little girl Stacy walking up the hallway, I wanted to mention it to him.  I quietly whispered that I was okay if he didn't want to play and that he really didn't have to.   I was responded with a "No, young lady!  You are not getting out of this."  The he turned and pointed to a corner in the hallway and said, "In fact... go stand in that corner and wait!"  My good friend Stacy came to my rescue and told her Daddy that I do not do corners and that he should read my fetish list!  Thank you Stacy for reading my fetish report! (If you are curious what she was talking about, click here!)  We walked down to my room and he asked when corners became a "red" for me, and I had to explain how it wasn't a hard limit for me, it's just that corner time just doesn't do it for me (especially after staring at the wall during the British Detention all night!).  I have way too much A.D.D. to focus and stand still for too long!!

Cornertime for me involves way too much fidgeting and tugging at my hair!

I don't think I fully realized how much I was craving the type of scene we were about to have.  I knew that I wanted to play, I just didn't think that he would be able to get into my mind and head space the way that he would.  He put me over his knee and began to spank me while talking about my obnoxious feelings.  I didn't want to talk about being rejected, but he dragged it out of me.  When I started crying over it like a pathetic loser, he pulled me in for a hug and held me until I stopped.

When I get nagging thoughts in my head, I do turn a bit stubborn.  I can't remember exactly why, but at some point I refused to comply with what he was saying.  He threatened to get his hairbrush and I made the mistake of rolling my eyes.  That sealed my fate and was told, "I don't care if standing in the corner does nothing for you, you are going to stand there anyway!  Get in a corner!"  When my mouth spoke before my brain and said, "all the corners have stuff in them" I was given one of the sternest looks I have ever received!  I think it may have been a personal record on how fast I turned around and found a corner to stick my nose into!  

I was left to stand in the corner for a short amount of time as he ran and fetched his hairbrush before being put back over his knee.  After being scolded for pulling my panties back up without permission, the swat with the hairbrush came raining down. Uncle OS's hairbrush is one of the meanest hairbrushes around and he has a very unhealthy obsession with it.  Oddly enough though, as much as I hate wood... he has such a great technique with it that it is not the horrible torture that wood usually is on me.  

Between the hairbrushing, and combination of soothing yet stern words, I was starting to let go and allowing myself to submit to the pain and take it in.  It is a very freeing feeling to be able to put my guard down.  I trusted him.  I trusted him to see me at my most vulnerable and I loved it.  He bent me back over the bed and took his belt off and began to strap me.  All I had to say was that I promised to be his good little niece and it would have stopped.  I couldn't bring myself to say it.  I wanted the scene to keep going and I was too stubborn to admit anything! After five minutes he stopped and asked me if I was ready to say it.  I just looked up at him and remained silent.  He said, "Fine.  I can do this all night."  I still wasn't ready to cave after another five minutes.  Even when he started strapping my thighs I stayed silent.  When he said that I wouldn't being wearing any short skirts any time soon...  I stayed silent.  I think it was after 13 straight minutes that I finally said that I was willing to be his good little niece!!!

Apparently I shouldn't wear shorts either... 

Afterwards he pulled me in and held me and talked such sweet words that I tried so hard to let myself believe.  This was one of the best scenes I had ever had and I am so grateful that he is nice enough to want to play with me.  I'm not sure if he knew what a mess I was prior to playing, but that one scene made my whole weekend and it was worth waiting until Sunday night to have it.   It is so rare for someone to be able to tap into my headspace, and it means the world to mean that he did.

Poor Stacy and Heather were waiting for us concerned after he ran out of the room and got his hairbrush!  I was so happy for them to come in and give hugs as I sat in my spacey, after a perfect scene giddiness.  I also loved that they ratted each other out for their school misbehavings and both ended up being bent over the bed for licks of their own.  I sat on the bed and watched like the little perv I am and then I took the opportunity to sneak my own school detention slip into the mix so it would be signed without consequence!  ;)

 Sunday night was such a wonderful night for me.

BBW Part IX: The "I Luv Adult Speaking" Cruise

My posts are getting ridiculous, LOL!  If you missed any, start here:

Part I

After leaving the restaurant I was feeling like I had the rug pulled out from underneath me.  Then it took a while for Publikk and I to find our car, plus we were pushing it close to catching the shuttles to the cruise, and I was really tired from the lack of sleep of the weekend... a panic attack was beginning to build inside of me.  All I really wanted was to sit in my room and compose myself and of course it was at that moment that the maids happened to be cleaning our room. 

With Publikk having to do something and me with no place to go holding a bag of Italian food, I wandered down to Joe and Ten's suite to offer up the leftovers for the party suite.  Ten saw the look on my face and could figure that there was something wrong with me.  Even though she had to get down to the shuttle service with Joe, she pulled me into their bathroom and helped me calm down.  I am very grateful for Ten because had I had a full blown panic attack, I would most likely have decided to skip out on the cruise!

With my room finally being free I was able to put on warmer clothes for the boat ride.  It was such a nice day, but I knew that once that sun went down it would be too cold for this southern living girl!

This was the first BBW where we were able to stay until Monday!  Normally we need to leave way too early on Sunday and miss out on many of the fun things going on.  The I Luv Adult Speaking Cruise was something I had been looking forward to for weeks!

There were three scheduled shuttle runs to the boat, all organized by cousin Joe with his clipboard and captain's hat.  Publikk and I had to be split up, but we were at the boat in no time.  120 Spankos climbed on ready for a spanking boat ride!  We hadn't even left the harbor yet and people were already starting to play. RainySpanker and PPD spent the weekend doing this weird redneck accent that unfortunately did sound like the people from the town I currently work in. :-P  RainySpanker found it pertinent to strap me for all that "sass" that comes out of my mouth.  Afterwards he bet me I couldn't not sass for five minutes!  I decided that I just wouldn't speak and smirked at him for the five minutes.  Even with the jokes about how, "hyuck hyuck! We got her quiet."  I continued to stand there quietly smirking at RainySpanker.  When he told me the five minutes were up, I continued to stand there quietly and smirk at him. It took another minute, but then he realized by purposely not saying a word and smirking I was providing plenty of sass.  It's a gift to be able to sass without having to say a word at all!!

As the boat started moving, Publikk said that he had never spanked anyone on a boat before.  I asked him if he wanted to. ;)  He pulled me over his lap and proceeded to give me his first ever boat spanking.  As silly as it is, it still makes me happy that we still have first moments that we get to share with each other.  It also surprised me that this was the first time we had played with each other all weekend.  I know that we see each other everyday, but I still like to be able to play and share the special party mojo with each other as well!

The boat took off into the harbor and the weather was beautiful!  The sounds of smacks echoed throughout the ship and Publikk and I joined the crowd for the drawbridge spanking.  Once passing through the bridge, we noticed a fisherman fist bumping the air, apparently overjoyed at the eyeful he just received!!  We went around the harbor looking at the Atlantic City boardwalk.  At one point Publikk realized that he had not followed through on his threat to spank the power.  Unfortunately for him, both Sarah_Rocks and I were feeling feisty, so I helped fill Sarah with the power as we both flew her off Publikk's lap! Sarah was also nice enough to help Publikk with his sore shoulder.  He is such a stubborn man when it comes to going to the doctor!  Luckily the lovely Elleebutt was there to get all toppy and lecture him.  Somehow that turned into both of us being bent over and spanked together.  All because we tried to help someone be a better person!!

The cruise ended as the sun was setting and the captain made a joke about seeing hundreds of moons on this trip but for to look at the one beautiful sunset. Of course as predicted, once the sun set, I did begin to freeze.  Luckily, the people on the second floor of the boat huddled in a circle for comfort and warmth.  It was such a great way to end the evening.

Getting off the boat, we didn't even have to wait for a shuttle!  Strict Dave and Ellee brought a rental car and offered us a ride back to the hotel.  I was so grateful, because at that point I was already starting to shiver violently.  It is amazing how fast your blood thins when you move to the south. 

Thank you Joe and Ten for organizing an amazing boat ride.  Dedicating it to Marc just made it even more special!