Shadowlane XII: Goodbye... for now!

This is my final Shadowlane party post.  Feel free to click on any of the links below to catch up on prior posts:

                                    Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V 
                             Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part XI

We spread out in a circle around the room to play tops vs bottoms catchphrase.  Basically how it works is for every point the ladies get, we get two minutes of personal service.  For every points the guys get, we get six swats.  We agreed early on that the winning team must win by two points, and that ended up resulting in one of the longest runs of catchphrase that we had ever played. 

We are an extremely competitive group.  As the rounds continued the tension rose as we playfully fought for the title of, um, catchphrase champion!  We managed to tie, and then flip back and forth between one point before the ladies finally won.  It is fun to watch everyone’s different reactions.  OS would grab the catchmaker out of my hand practically ripping my fingers off, where Dirk would remain calm and slowly sound out his clues as the gentlemen in the room would shout desperately at him. 

The giddy, tiredness started to hit us as silly conversations arose.  At one part we were arguing about what part of the worm silk comes out.  Laughing I said, “Are we really discussing what comes out of a worm’s ass!?”  The game playing continued on until after 6am and the sunrise.  I was having so much fun I didn't want the weekend to end. 

Unfortunately, good things eventually DO have to end.  We gave out some hugs and headed back to our room in an attempt to get a few hours of sleep.  Pubsie and I had to be heading out to the airport in a few hours to catch our flight home.  A brief nap, and soon our alarm was going off for us to gather our supplies and get out of dodge.

Not wanting to wake up everyone in the other suite, I was able to give a few hugs out and fight back tears.  Sometimes it is good to be the first person leaving because I do not have to be a sobbing mess when the majority of my friends were still sleeping.  I gave my wifey a huge hug, and then a few people in the other suite, before Pubsie prodded me along.  Kor-E and Maria were nice enough to give us a ride to the airport, and I fought back tears as we said goodbye.  Pubsie gave me a big hug and wiped a few of my tears as we headed into the airport.

Leaving parties are so hard for me.  I do not have many close friends in the vanilla world, and my spanko family means the world to me.  I really wished that we didn't have to be scattered all over the country, but it makes me happy that for people who truly care for one another, ways will be found to be together.  Until I find my place in this crazy world, I will continue to buy lottery tickets in the hope of purchasing that spanko commune for all of us to enjoy. 

To my spanking family:  Thank you so much for your kindness, love, and company.  I cannot wait for our next adventure!

Shadowlane Part XI: My Final Scene of the Weekend

Geez... I'm on post XI already. :-p  Here are all the others if you would like to see what I have been blabbing on about!

                              Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V 
                             Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X

As the suites started to wind down, we slowly started to head up to suite 1016 for our super-overly-competitive-game-time. ;)  As we waited for everyone to show up, StrictDave's blowgun made another appearance.  OS was aiming for a water bottle and managed to dart the chair and the magazine that was the background behind the water bottle. It definitely was much harder to shoot than it looked!  I was very intrigued to try it, and Somaholiday passed on her words of wisdom that was taught to her by StrictDave.  Giving it a try, I managed to nail the water bottle on the first try.  Turns out, I was oddly good at shooting the thing and now I want one!  I'm not a hunter or anything (in fact I like to think that my protein magically shows up packaged at supermarkets as opposed to what really happens), but you never know.  It never hurts to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Most likely I will get it and shoot up the shed in my backyard for two months before getting sick of it and never using it again.  :-P

It was nice to hang out and chat, and I was looking up something on my phone when OS asked if we had a few minutes.  Since not everyone was there yet, of course we did.  Me being as dense as I am didn't understand what he was asking, so without looking up from my phone I told him kind of snarkyish if he needed a few minutes, take a few minutes.  "Do what you have to do OS!  We'll wait for you!"  He responded with a "good" and picked up his nasty hairbrush from the coffee table and grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the bedroom.  I protested because I honestly thought he had to use the bathroom or something.  

Inside the bedroom he told me to get in the corner.  I let out a disgruntled noise and shot a dirty look because I hate standing in the corner.  He responded with, "you know how I like you to stand in the corner, so it would be in your best interest to do that!!"

I sighed and stuck my nose in the corner but realized I still had my phone in my hand.  I turned to him and held it up and he took it saying that that was a wise move. I turned my nose back to the corner and he pulled my pj bottoms down to where they were hugging my lower cheeks.  

I do struggle with corner time.  I have a.d.d. and am unable to stand still in one spot for very long.  Corner time has been a battle of my wills vs my desire to please my play partners.  I hate it, but I like that my partners enjoy it and want to please them as well.  Thankfully OS seems to understand not to push and has never made me stand in the same spot for too long.  His tone and demeanor put butterflies in my tummy and I was a tiny bit nervous when he called me over to him.  

He pulled me over his lap and started to spank as he asked me if I knew why I was getting this particular spanking.  In my defense, it was very late Sunday night (technically Monday morning) of a spanking party and thanks to the abnormally long party drought for me between BBW and Shadowlane, I may have done and said a lot of sassy things in the four months between parties.  I was not sure what exactly he was talking about, and I also didn't want to provide any more ammunition just in case I was reminding him about things he didn't think of or things he maybe had forgotten about.  

Slightly amused, he told me to think harder and switched to that nasty hairbrush.  Trying desperately to think up the correct answer, I begged for a timeline.  Slightly smirking he said, "sure!  It was last May!"  I believe that was when the panties came down.

That did help and at first I asked if it was the online detention slips/punishment book shenanigans (it wasn't) and then I remembered the photo.  The Ohio State finger salut.  That brought us closer to the real reason.  Now it was not the picture (he does have a sense of humor) that he was thinking about, but an actual reaction to something I did/texted that was very real and very powerful to me that that was what he was spanking me for.  It is so hard for me to let people get inside my head, and he nailed it.  This was something I struggle with (with everyone, not just him or Spankos) and he had just called me out on it.  

I do not get spanked for real things very often, and by real I mean something I do not do on purpose.  It may seem like such a little thing to anyway else, but for me it was something that I have and continue to battle in my neurotic brain and occasionally get taken advantage of because if it.  When I pulled it on OS, he called it out way back in May, but it didn't register with me at the time.  That is how often I do this. It is second nature and I don't realize I am doing it.  I know it must be frustrating because I am not saying what it is, but this is my blog so you will just have to deal with it. ;)

My mindset had completely changed and I was caught slightly off guard, mostly because that is how rare it is to get in my head and put me into a submissive demeanor.  I was sorry and I no longer knew how to react.

The scolding made my eyes water and I tried very hard to stay focused and do as he asked.  The hairbrush continued to come down as I struggled against the sting of the wood wishing that I had played more during the day to be warmed up enough to take it gracefully.  My mind was still processing pain, scolding, and being disappointed with myself not to be more trusting of someone I adore so much.  

I don't remember ever seeing such a serious look on OS's face before. He took off his belt and told me that he was going to reinforce this lesson with his belt to help me remember in the future.  

I am not sure exactly what is wrong with me, but I do know that if I say the right words our scene will wrap up.  However, I became tongue tied.  I'm not sure if it is my inner stubbornness to test his resolve and see if he really DOES mean it, or the fact that I really felt that I deserved the discomfort, or the fact that my headspace was in the right spot to accept stroke after stroke, but I stayed silent with the exception of shrieks when the belt came down on a particularly tender spot.  The strokes continued with out stopping for quite a while.  I'm not even sure how long he ended up strapping me.  I turned a few times to see if I could catch his eye and possibly end the scene with my "I'm really sorry eyes", but the look and focus on his face was one of a top that wasn't going to stop until I submitted to what he had asked.  

Something in my brain finally clicked and I found my words.  Our scene wrapped up with some remarks, and then because I opened up my big mouth and made some remarks in an attempt to lighten my mood and be funny, I ended up back on the bed for a few more. 

OS told me that my bottom was very red and to go check it out in a mirror.  He was right.  It was the reddest I have seen it in a long time and I actually regret that we didn't get a picture.  I think that almost all the marks I got from the weekend were from this one scene. He gave me a big hug and whispered how he loved me, but as the adrenaline from the scene was wearing off, I was actually shaking and needed to sit down.  OS grabbed me some water as I calmed down and tried to de-fuzz my brain.  Of course in this moment I started apologizing for shaking and because I was just now realizing how long I had let that scene go on when others were waiting for us. I was even told to take a sip of water every time I wanted to say I was sorry, but I really wanted to apologize for being a pain in the ass and not submitting earlier.  He just shook his head and said, "you can't help yourself, can you!?"  I promise to keep working on it!

Thinking back, it was pretty selfish of me to hog up all his time, but it was the type of intensity that I had been craving for a long time and he is one of the few tops that I trust enough to give it to me.  When we went to join the rest of our friends for a night of games, sweet Stacy looked so concerned and she asked me if I was all right. I said yes, and thanked her for being so sweet and kind and nice enough to share her daddy.  Stacy and OS have this beautiful relationship and I know that they do not get to spend as much time together as they would like.  The fact that Stacy is nice enough to share her precious time is something I am incredibly grateful for.  She could easily tell me to go away and I would be more than happy to oblige! It is this kindness that makes us feel as if we are a real family.  We genuinely care for each other.  Heck, it is much nicer than what my real family is capable of giving.  :-P  

The adrenaline was definitely wearing off and I could feel the results of that particular spanking as I sat on the couch to get ready for an intense version of spanko catchphrase!

Shadowlane Part IX: Punished and Dealing with Party Life as a Crazy Person.

Catch up on my other party posts:

         Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII

After a nice drive back to the hotel with Dirk and Pubsie, I headed upstairs with a brief stop into the other suite before heading to ours.  While walking down the hallway, I realized that I didn’t have my phone on me.  I assumed that I left the phone in the car, so I asked Pubsie if he could run down and try to catch Dirk before the valet parked his car.

While freshening up, it occurred to me that maybe I had left my phone in the other suite and so I headed back down to 1016.  After knocking Stacy held up my phone and said, “here it is!  Pubsie called and I answered it… he said to tell you that you are in BIG trouble.”

I closed my eyes for a second and said thank you for finding my phone and letting them know it was up here.  OS was laughing because he thought that it was awesome that Pubsie announced that I was in trouble.  We do not have a DD dynamic in our relationship, so Pubsie actually announcing that meant he was REALLY annoyed with me.

After that comment there was no way I was going back to my suite.

 

Rather quickly Dirk and Pubsie arrived at the suite and my one idea was to hide.  Pretty much a classic cousin panicked based plan, I ran into Heather's, Somaholiday's, and OS’s bedroom and darted to the closet.  Why was this a classic cousin plan?  I was trapped without a real plan of action, but at the time I thought it was a great idea!  Since jules was unable to make this party, I apparently began to channel her spirit.  ;)

It worked for a second because Pubsie thought I hid in the bathroom.  However, Dirk checked the closet and pulled me out.  I was feeling horrible when both gentlemen started to scold me.  I did have to yell back, because both men thought it would be funny to make it out much worse than it was and I was already at the point of tears.  They did end up ripping out the back seat of Dirk’s rental car, but luckily no permanent car damage was done.

Pubsie bent me over the bed and took off his belt and began to strap me for the hassle.  OS decided it would be extra helpful to put his ridiculous ginormous hairbrush on the bed.  I glared at him and told him to mind his own business, and luckily both Dirk and Pubsie were too…“distracted” to notice the hairbrush.  When Pubsie was done he offered his belt to Dirk since I inconvenienced him as well.  Dirk was all too happy to comply.

I could tell that Pubsie was still a little annoyed, but Dirk was very forgiving.  He told me that it was worth it since he got to belt me.  I’m glad that Dirk is so easily appeased. 

I’ve mentioned before how I am a little “bat-shit-crazy” and with the emotions that run high throughout a whole weekend, there tends to be a moment where I finally break.

My anxiety embarrasses me.  I hate for people to see me cry.  I hate thinking that people are judging me because of my anxiety.  I am afraid that people are thinking that I am just looking for attention, and I am afraid that people think they have to walk on eggshells around me because of it.

One of the reasons why I am willing to talk about it is because for years I thought I was the only person who dealt with anxiety.  Growing up it was hard to keep friends because of it.  Who wants to be friends with a crybaby?  So I learned to hide it as best as I could.  If I feel a panic attack coming on, I try to sneak away until I can get a control of my emotions.  Without being on anxiety drugs, it is harder to calm down.  I want others who may also deal with anxiety to understand that they are not alone and to never be afraid to talk to others about it if help is needed.

What the trigger was is not important, but while I was in the suite with everyone I felt my panic rise and I started having difficulty breathing.  Trying to remain calm, I smiled and laughed with everyone as I slowly got up and moved to the door in hopes of being able to sneak out unnoticed.  I headed down to our suite and moved into our bedroom.  Still feeling that I was too exposed, I locked myself into our bathroom and sat in our tub as I cried and tried to gain control of myself.  I’m not sure how long I was in the bathroom, but I eventually managed to calm myself down enough to get out and move towards getting a bottle of water.

Apparently I did not escape completely unnoticed.  When I opened the bathroom door I noticed that Kor-E was in the room waiting for me to come out.  When I saw him I instantly teared up again embarrassed to have been caught.  He and I had a long talk and even played a bit.  I was feeling better after our talk, but the well had been tapped and I knew that I would need some more time before I would be ready to face everybody.

Pubsie came down and gave me a big hug, and I asked him to leave me alone for a bit.  Until I was able to pass the eye makeup test (not crying with eye makeup on!), I didn't want to go downstairs and I didn't want him to think he had to stay and babysit me while a party was going on.  I was afraid of people noticing that something was wrong.

I was hiding in the room when my beautiful wifey came in.  She hadn't realized that I had been hiding and she was quick to provide a big hug.  We were able to talk and I was finally starting to feel normal again.  With Pubsie texting me to come down to the suite parties, and Aurora’s ‘lovin’, I finally felt like I could come back to joining everyone.

For those of you who know me, you know I smoke.  I have manage to stop smoking but have a few triggers that I have not yet gotten past.  One hurdle was not smoking at a spanking party.  I was doing so well that I actually felt like I could brag about it.  I figured if I told people I wasn't smoking I would make sure that I wasn't smoking.  After this anxiety attack I only had one thing on my brain.  Get a cigarette and REALLY relax.

Of course the first cigarette I was able to bum, out came YS, Beth, and Ellee.  That was the end of my bragging.  I do wish I could have gone a whole spanking weekend without smoking, but considering I normally go through a pack and half a party weekend, the two cigarettes (the second smoke is for a later story) that I had were a strong start and hopefully the next party I can make it the whole weekend. 

Finally feeling up to seeing people, I took a deep breath and headed down to join the Sunday night suite party in 460.

Shadowlane Part VIII: Spanking Court and The Hofbräuhaus

If you missed the other parts: 

                   Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII

Morning rolled around and our suite was slowly getting up to head down to Strictdave’s Spanking Court.   Since I was the first person ready and I didn’t want to be late, I headed down myself and managed to pull up a spot of floor in the front row.  I felt that this year there was the perfect amount of court cases.  Not too many and all that were amusing.

For my “Reckless Abandonment” case, even though there were several people in the suite Friday night, Heather was the person I called up on charges.  1.)  I knew she would show up to court.  2.)  I knew she would be okay with being called up on court charges.  3.)  She was the person I asked to make she it was okay that I used their restroom, and 4.)  I knew she would be smart, witty, and hilarious.

I presented my case and attempted to be entertaining as I explained the horror of coming out of the bathroom to an empty suite and thinking everyone was playing a joke on me… only to find out nope, they left me.  I had laughs and awwwwws and one gasp as I said, “What the fuck!”   Heather fought back and presented a good defense, however, Strictdave would end up ruling in my favor.  I wasn’t completely out of the woods though, because even though I was telling a story, I was sentenced two swats with leather because I said, “fuck” for contempt of court.  I got up and forgot my hug from SD and had to deal with the laughter of “abandoning” Dave.   Heather took her swats like a champ and smiles were prevalent from everyone watching the court case.

Court continued and ended with a very memorable case of Sandy vs Rad.  You know it would be good when Rad feigned surprise and exclaimed, “WHAT THE FUCK!?” when his case was announced (I would like to point out the double standard of him NOT being charged with contempt of court. ;) )  Sandy accused Rad of ruining a romantic moment and Rad defended himself by working the audience (lots of awwwwwwws from the women) and proclaiming that Sandy knew what she had gotten herself into when she married him AND that she wouldn't have him any other way.  Rad even managed to get Bob the DJ to play Sandy and Rad’s wedding dance song.  It was an adorable mixture of humor and love shared between two.

As court ended, the cat herding began as a group of us met to head down to the strip to eat tapas.  I ended up in OS's car with Aurora, Corey, and a man I hadn't met before and can’t remember his handle.  The three in the back chatted as I entertained OS with stories of my youth.  Very exciting stories.  In fact, I was so wrapped up in my stories that I wasn't paying attention to the GPS as it squawked for us to turn.  I was horrified.  It looked as if everyone had been following us, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise.  Apparently I had put the wrong address into the GPS and OS was driving based on his memory of the location.  My face was bright red as we parked the car and I felt horrible considering I really only had ONE job.

Lunch itself was a delicious variety of Tapas and Sangria.  We put our trust into StrictDave to order and we were not disappointed.  It was such a wonderful mixture of food.  The sangria was my favorite part and I've been craving it since leaving the restaurant!

After lunch, more than half the group headed back to get ready for the Singapore Prison group role play.   Since we were not participating, Pubsie and I stayed with the group that was visiting the strip and heading to the Hofbräuhaus to experience their “shots.”  I had never been to the Hofbräuhaus in Vegas but was well aware of their tradition of spanking anyone with their paddles for ordering a shot.   OS was a little *TOO* excited when he told the waitress that he wanted to buy shots for all the ladies.  The waitress let out an evil smile and said, “I may look innocent, but I love to spank!”  OS even told her that the harder she spanked us, the higher her tip would be.

The shots came out and the waitress came out with the biggest grin on her face.  She pulled us up one by one, made us bend over the table,  spread our legs, and checked our back pockets to make sure nothing was there.  She gave us three swats, two light swats and one hard.  When I bent over the table for my swats, I was well aware of the number of people who were watching our large, cheering group.   She gave out her two light swats, and then let me have it.  I actually shrieked in surprise and jumped up.  Everyone cheered and we moved onto the next girl.  We had so much fun, we ended up ordering another round of shots, this time for EVERYONE (even the guys) in our group.  There was a lot of hooting and hollering, and more people in the restaurant were interested in getting their own spankings.

Being in a vanilla setting indulging our kink was an incredibly liberating feeling.  We enjoyed our beverages, did our shots, and bent over for public spankings!  We laughed as the waitress told Stacy that for some reason she was hard to hit.  We laughed as the table next to us told Heather that she took her paddling like a champ!  We laughed as Maria became a “mean” drunk, and Aurora was called out on her wiggling.  We nearly died as Dirk bought OS a shot just to watch him get paddled.  We all left the restaurant grinning from ear to ear. 

We headed back to the hotel to get ready for our last night together in Vegas.


***EDIT***

I can't believe I forgot to add this part!  While in the bathroom, two vanilla girls came in.  I was washing my hands when I head one girl say, "Man... i have some redness!"  Her friend responded with, "yeah... that can happen!"  I almost wet myself running out of the bathroom to meet back with our group of friends and share that little tibit!

Part VI

Catch up on the other blog posts here:

                    Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V

After the British discipline session, Aurora and I headed back to our room to change for the TTYL (tight, thongs, yoga pants, leggings) party.  This is one of the suite parties that makes me really nervous. I do not think I look nice in anything that is form fitting, but I hate missing out on seeing friends.  Sucking it up and putting my big girl panties on, I put on a pair of leggings and tried not to think of how it must look to everyone else.  This is one reason why having anxiety sucks.  I know that my brain is lying to me, but I can't help but believe it a little. 

We arrived to the suite and I quickly found my husband talking with RainySpanker, OS and Kor-E.  Kor-E apparently got my latte message and wanted to know what had really happened to the latte.  He seemed convinced that I drank it.  My stubborn side kicked in.  I told him that I have no idea what he was talking about and he should probably ask the maid since I had rejected his latte conditions. 

Kor-E bent me over a chair, and started interrogating me.  I was super stubborn. I refused to admit that I knew anything about the location, condition, and/or taste of said latte. No one gets away with putting on added conditions to my latte beverages without giving me the chance to reject them!

I knew that I wasn't going to budge. I threw out a compromise. Take away the conditions on the latte, and maybe I will remember what had happened to the latte.  

Since he was being completely unreasonable and refusing to acknowledge my compromise, it was time for me to throw out some bigger ammunition. 
"I have offered a compromise!" I said accusingly,  "if you don't take it, you are going to ruin me for the entire weekend!" :(

Kor-E wavered for a few more strokes before finally agreeing to remove the conditions that were attached to the gifted latte. 

I promptly admitted that I drank the latte and it was delicious.  ;)

After our battle of the wills scene, Kor-E apparently had spanker's remorse.  He told me I was not allowed to look at him or smile at him the rest of the afternoon.  

I enjoyed the afternoon party chatting and talking and enjoying a few of the scenes that were going on around me.  I unfortunately can no longer remember what had prompted the next of my scenes, but apparently OS and RainySpanker have some type of secret code.  The next thing I knew they had two chairs facing each other and pulled me over both of their knees.  OS focused on the right while RainySpanker focused on the left (I think), and the two continued to spank me simultaneously.  It was quite the interesting sensation that had me struggling since there wasn't any pause or break to give my cheeks a chance to recover before the next swat came down.  The scene also attracted the attentions of many of the party goers as they watched the chaos.  It really appealed to my exhibitionist side even though it is kind of bothering me that I am not sure what had triggered the scene and what the secret code signal between OS and RainySpanker had been!

We hung around a bit more before heading back up to our suite for some beverages.  It would be soon time to get ready for our evening dinning plans and we were giving strict instructions to be dressed and ready to go on time!

Shadowlane Part V: The Special Headmaster's Session

If you missed the other posts:

Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV

After another late night I woke up early again.  I went out into the living room to wake up with crappy coffee and enjoyed a nice quiet moment playing on my phone.  Kor-E and Maria were already awake and they were getting ready to head out and pick up some good coffee.  Since Kor-E offered to pick me up a coffee, I decided to test his coffee knowledge by ordering a Double, non-fat, extra froth, caramel latte.  He made fun of me, but promised to pick one up!   The rest of us in our suite were moving slowly, but Aurora and I would eventually need to get ready to head to our special detention session.  Poor Aurora had been healing from a broken ankle and her foot had been very swollen.  Following doctor’s orders she choose not to wear shoes.  I felt bad because I hadn't realized how much she had been hurting. 

Kor-E showed up with the latte while I was showering and asked Aurora to pass it on to me with a clause stating that by accepting this latte, I would agree to forgive him for abandoning me and not bring him up on court charges.  I took the latte and marched over to their room, but Kor-E had already left.  Maria promised to inform Kor-E that I rejected his offer and would leave the latte for the maid to drink.

Aurora and I finished getting ready and I peeked out into the hallway hoping not to see the mean lady from the night before.   With the coast clear, we headed down to Stephen Lewis’s room and knocked on his door.   He invited us in and thanked us for coming back.  After asking us both to sit down, he asked if we understood why we were there.  Aurora once again gave a sincere answer that sounded smart assy, and I gave a smart assy answer but accompanied it with my charming smile.  After smirking at both of us, Mr. Lewis pointed at first Aurora, then at me and said, “If that tone is sincere, and that LOOK is supposed to be sincere, you are both doomed!”  Both of Aurora and I started cracking up and I was asked to stand and go over his lap.

Mr. Lewis started with an over the lap spanking and yummy scolding of my improper detention behavior.  As he stood me up he pointed out that since this was a special headmaster session as opposed to a formal detention, there would be no counting.  Aurora however,  piped up that SHE had been counting and that he was at 95 swats.  Since we were that close to 100 he pulled me back over his lap for five more swats!  Aurora… always so helpful.

Next was Aurora’s turn.  The poor girl went over Stephen’s lap, but unfortunately the pain in her ankle was hurting really bad and it was too much for her.  Aurora is a great wifey because she understands my anxiety and how I get with people I am just getting to know. Even though she wasn't up for playing, she came anyway to support me.   Her kindness (even though she is going to prove what a brat she is) is why I love this girl!

Stephen sat her up and we talked for a few minutes as Aurora apologized for not being up for playing.  He gave her a big hug and asked her if she wanted to stay and watch ME get punished.  I don’t think I have ever seen that big of a grin on Aurora’s face as she excitedly said, “YES, SIR!”  Back over his knee I went and when I was told to stand back up, Aurora shared that it was only 49 swats.  Of course I had to go back over for one more spank.

Mr. Lewis stood up and told Aurora that she can decide if she felt that I was punished enough.  The little minx looked like the Cheshire Cat as she nodded enthusiastically.  Mr. Lewis then said one of my favorite lines of the whole scene, “Since this is a special headmaster’s session, I get to make this shit up as we go along!”

I had never played with Stephen Lewis outside of their formal detention sessions, and I wasn't aware how much research he puts into his scenes.   I have several triggers in a scene that can not only get into my head space, but make me weak in the knees as well.   He pulled my ponytail and made me look up at him, and he scolded me using my “full name” saying that by the end of this session, I would be one sorry, well behaved young lady.  I melted.  It was such a yummy moment that I almost forgot to breath for a moment.

I was told to bend over the table and received cane strokes and swats with leather as Aurora announced whether or not she felt I had learned my lesson (she didn't).   Aurora was then told to sit across from me and hold my hands as I received my final strokes. Another tug at the pony tail and I was standing back up with my final scolding.

Aurora was feeling up for trying a few strokes with the cane, and over the table she went with me being told to hold her hands.  I love watching the faces of girls being spanked, and the noises they make.  Stephen told us that we both make the most adorable noises, and Aurora had to prove it by making the squeak toy noises she makes when being caned.  

I wish I could better describe this entire scene to fully show my emotions, adrenaline, and the fact that sometimes I just can’t control my mouth.  I was sinking into subspace and my brain turned to a fuzzy mush.  When I think back all I can remember is how happy I was and how amazing it had been.  If I could describe this scene in one word?  HOT!   The chemistry felt right, the banter was awesome, and the scene itself was perfect.

Now that I know what a special Headmaster session entails, I may never behave during normal detention again.  ;)

Thank you to Stephen Lewis for an awesome play session!  I cannot wait for the next party and being able to play again.  :)

Shadowlane Part IV

If you just got here:

Part I    Part II   Part III

After our detention, Aurora and I headed back to our room to change and go join the suites.   I was looking forward to visiting both Tom and Joe’s suites and I am always grateful that they are willing to open up their suites to entertain the spanking masses.  We headed to Tom’s suite first and right away I saw YS and he gestured for me to come over to him.  I have gotten to know YS and Ellee over the past two years and YS and I had never played before.  I was so excited that he had asked me and the two of us ducked into one of the side bedrooms.  YS claims that he is a converted vanilla,  but I do not believe that!  He spanks way too good to be a vanilla at heart.  ;)  We had such a lovely scene with both his hand and his belt, and of course some giggles mixed in.  First Tom had walked into the bedroom to let us know that pizza had arrived.  I said, “Thanks, Tom”  and we started laughing at the thought of stopping the scene to run and grab some pizza and then continuing with said pizza in hand.  Of course a few minutes later I turned my head to the side and saw a man standing in the doorway eating a piece of pizza without a plate, leering at our scene.  I could not help but start laughing again.  

YS was very perceptive.  I tend to tense up when playing with someone new, and he called me out on it.  However, as he was spanking me with his belt he told me that if he wanted “to go hard, I needed to relax so I could take it.”  I couldn't help myself and blurted out, “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” and we both started laughing.  We finished our scene where he provided wonderful rubs and aftercare.  I was so happy that we had been able to play and am looking forward to doing it again!

 We moved from suite to suite and then headed back to 1016 to hang out and visit.  Sweet little Beth had been acting a bit feisty and I am not one hundred percent sure how this happened, but next thing I knew Beth was threatening to hairbrush Stacy and Heather promised to take ten swats from Beth if Beth was able to give Stacy all ten.  Watching Beth be drunk with power was hilarious.  After every swat she would make an evil grin and then proceed to make a speech.  She made it through Stacy’s hairbrushing and grinned wildly at Heather.  For someone reason, Heather’s agreement was changed from 10 to 20, and over Beth’s lap she went.  Beth once again continued with her monologues, but this time it was accompanied with pushing Heather’s head down onto the bed every time she lifted it up.  It felt good to laugh so hard.  :)

Back into the main living room of the suite, a few handful of people were still hanging around.  I asked Heather if she would mind if I used the restroom in her bedroom.  I was washing my hands when I heard a loud bang, and I wasn’t 100% sure what the sound was.  I walked out to the living room and… it was empty.  At first I thought that everyone was hiding (not unusual for this group), but a quick peek around the hotel made me realize… they had forgotten about me.   The loud bang I heard must have been the door closing.   Slightly hurt and slightly amazed that OUR group could move so fast, I went down a floor hoping to find people in the suites.  Kor-E ended up finding me first, and led me to Joe’s suite where everyone was at.  I ask, “What the crap!? You left me in the bathroom!!??”  There was some laughter but I knew that I would have my day in court!

Another late night and after hanging out a bit we slowly all moved towards bed.  We had another busy day ahead of us!

Shadowlane Part III: British Detention with Aurora

If you missed them:

Part I  Part II

My "just resting my eyes" turned into a full fledged nap, something I HATE doing at parties. ;)  I have a fear of sleeping when everyone else is awake.  What if I miss something?  Then everyone will be talking about that one spectacular moment and I will be the loser who has to admit that I was sleeping. 

Luckily I had set my alarm clock earlier to remind me that it was time to get ready.  Pubsie had come back to the room to wake me up and even though I was groggy, I wanted to make sure that I was ready and on time for my detention session.  

The British detention events have been occurring at the past few parties.  With a headmaster, head girl, witness and a punishment book that all the naughties must sign, this group does an amazing job at setting a scene for those of us with school girl fetishes! At BBW, Maria corralled all the cousins into a session and it was a blast.  About a week afterwards, I discovered that I had been carrying around my detention slip in my purse! Snickering to myself, I posted a picture of my slip online.  Then goody-two shoes Stacy felt the need to post hers and show everyone how she wasn't at all in the slightest bit of trouble. Since we all know *that* isn't true, I set out to prove that she really was a trouble maker!  Scheming, sleuthing, and pulling in resources from across the country, I was able to snag evidence that little Miss Stacy really did get in trouble!!  All of that happened four months ago, and as funny as it all was, it was pushed to the back of my mind.  

Until three days before Shadowlane. 

I was actually for once being a super good girl focusing on my work and trying to get myself ahead for the next week when I decided to take a quick perv break and sign on to fet. My @'s were lit up and I was greeted with this status message:

                           

Apparently someone decided to point a certain British headmaster to my mischievous thread and he felt the need to revive it.  

I was no longer able to focus on my work that night.  

Since I really wanted to do the detention again, and because I was too chicken to sign up alone, I volunteered Aurora to go with me. :)  I knew she would be game!  The two of us had gotten dressed and headed down to the detention suite to await our scheduled time. 

I would love to say that everything this weekend was absolutely perfect, but just prior to detention I had a not so good moment.  Our floor was mixed with both vanillas and Spankos and I was dressed in full school girl uniform.  Alex Reynolds was waiting outside the door in her school uniform, and when the door next to the British detention suite opened, a vanilla woman walked out and saw us hanging out in the hallway.  The woman instantly approached us and asked what was going on.  We didn't answer her and she pressed asking if this was some sort of fetish thing.  She seemed nice enough, just curious, but then went into this diatribe about how her 14 year old daughter was in the next room, and that we better not let the kid see us, blah, blah, and blah.  She continued on her way but my headspace was shot.  I teared and thought about my vanilla life and how that this was the first time in a long time that I was ashamed of being a spanko.

At that moment Stacy, Crashdance, and Somaholiday came down the hall to tease us, but they instantly saw my face and asked what was wrong.  This is why I love having my girls.  They could tell I was upset and worked to make it better.  By the time the door opened for me to walk in, I was feeling better and the looming figures of the British detention team was able to snap me back into place.  The mean vanilla lady was pushed to the back of my mind.  

Aurora and I were given out slips earlier and told not to open them.  I had protected mine by putting it in the room, but Aurora's was taken by RainySpanker and torn.  Boys can be so mean sometimes!  We presented our slips and I smirked as Aurora tried to explain what had happened.  My enveloped was opened and I was told to read my slip.  I almost cracked up as I read, "Kathryn's catalogue of naughtiness is too full to fit within these margins.  However, her attempts to trivialize this very process is something that is needed to be addressed urgently."

Headmaster Lewis asked for me to explain to the others what exactly I did.  I paused for a moment trying to figure out how to start and was then guided over Stephen Lewis's knee.  He began to spank me and told me to begin explaining.  I quickly told my cliff noted version of the story and was met with a British detention group that was trying very hard not to laugh.  I attempted to give my award winning smile, but it didn't help my case.

Next was Aurora and I can't remember exactly what it said, but it did involve her claims of always being the "good" one was clearly showing that she was actually a ring leader.  I was apparently smiling too hard at the thought of Aurora being punished.  When asked if I was enjoying this, I quickly said no, but after being yelled at to tell the truth, I admitted that I was.  I was then told to turn around and not watch. :(

Aurora was told to stand up and I was asked to bend over the table and stretch all the way across.  I receive a "six of the best" caning that was so yummy I almost smarted off just to receive more.  Aurora was next, and then the two of us were told to kneel on chairs that faced each other and watch as the other received a final three strokes.  

The play was great, but the best part happened next.  After we were told to thank the head girl for recording our punishments and Mr. Kennedy for witnessing it, the headmaster asked us to thank him for punishing him.  I tried to give him my winningest smile as I thanked him, but his stare down showed me that he wasn't buying it.  Then Aurora made this long speech thanking the headmaster that I knew was sincere, but actually sounded as if she was being a smart ass.  He then continued to stare her down and I couldn't help but cough out *RINGLEADER* under my breath.  The stern glare was directed back at me before he announced that he demanded to see us both back at 2pm the next day.  We left smiling and I couldn't help but laugh at the fact we were given "detention" during detention.  This had been such a wonderful scene and I thank Stephen Lewis for being willing to set this up for us!

Shadowlane Part II

Click here for Part I!

Even though it was very late when Aurora and I crawled into bed, my body has been used to waking up at an ungodly hour to be at work.  I was able to get about four hours of sleep (pretty good for me at a party) but was wide awake before 9am.  Not wanting to wake up Pubsie or Robyn, I grabbed my phone and crawled out to the living room.  I was getting over a sinus infection and being on the plane had caused mild snifflage and coughing.  Kor-E was not impressed with the coughing and I told him that all I needed was a cup of crappy hotel room coffee and it would go away.  Kor-E of course could not believe that that would be the case, but I know me and of course, the cough went away as soon as I had a warm beverage to sooth my throat.  Apparently I was a little too smug and Kor-E pulled me over his lap for a few swats.  I accused him of trying to “recongest” me and that he shouldn't fight when he knows I am RIGHT!  ;)

Even though I was up early, I was not moving fast to get ready.  :-p  Kor-E, Maria, and Pubsie ran out for breakfast, good coffee, and to pick up some items at Walmart.   Aurora and I chatted a bit before getting ready.  One thing I like about spanking parties is that I get the chance to actually focus on being a girl.  I had the time to do my hair nicely, put on makeup, and wear cute clothes.  Normally I wake up so late in the morning that I race out with my hair half dry, no makeup, and glasses.  :-p

Finally ready I walked down to Stacy’s, Strictdave’s, OS’s, Crashdance, and Somaholiday’s suite to give a proper hello.  I was able to get to know Somaholiday who I had just met at this party.  Such a sweet wonderful girl!  I was so happy to get to know her this party.  I was also able to catch up with one of my dear scene uncles, Olympiaspanker who for some reason felt the need to pull me over his lap for a quick spanking.  I’m not sure exactly why, but I am pretty sure I said that I was going to work on my “filter” by trying NOT to just blurt out what I was thinking. 

While I was sitting there catching up with everyone, I heard a deep breath,  a burst of air, and I felt something wiz past my head.  Somaholiday told me not to move, so I froze unsure of what was going on.  I heard and felt a few more things fly by my head before gathering the courage to turn around.  I don’t know why I was at all surprised knowing who I was dealing with, but Strictdave was sitting behind me with a large blow gun shooting darts across the suite at various targets.   OS was encouraging him by setting up various targets and I couldn’t help but laugh and think, “Oh, Dave.”   

Aurora came down to join us and Kor-E, Maria, and Pubsie came back from their errands and joined us as well!  The ten of us along with YS, Beth, and Ellee headed out to the strip to try a burger at Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant ‘BurGR.’  Well, driving down I confessed to everyone in the car that I had a huge Gordon Ramsey fetish and promised that if the .001% chance that he would actually be at the restaurant, I would totally lie, say it was my birthday, and ask him if he would deliver my birthday spankings.  Sadly, he wasn't there.  :(   Someday!!!!  ;)

The food was amazing!  The best part was this Oreo milkshake that was wickedly indulgent. Pubsie managed to be a dumb boy and say something stupid to me that made me mad.  I know he didn’t mean to, but I was still mad and sentenced him to a punishment of me being annoyed with him until we made it back to the hotel.  Since the Spankee Hawkins event was going to start soon and Stacy and I were the only ones in our group that had an outfit to wear, Stacy and OS were heading back early so she could change.  I asked if I could join them since I too wanted to change and didn’t want to walk into this party as the only person dressed up.   Since Pubsie was away from the table and they were ready to leave, I asked the table to make sure no one left without Pubsie and “ditched” him at the restaurant.  I promise you.  He deserved it! 

With being so busy, I wasn’t able to find a super cute costume to wear to the Spankee Hawkins party.   Since I have several school girl uniforms, I brought one of those and made it my outfit!  Stacy on the other hand had the most adorable 60s/70s dress including go-go boots and protest sign!  The protest sign told everyone that “Hands were for hugging NOT hurting” and to “use our words” stop violence and give peace a chance!  Her message was ignored by everyone as many were eager to show her how wrong her sign was!   I almost felt sorry for poor Stacy.  Almost.

Now the Spankee Hawkins is a play on words for Sadie Hawkins, where the girl is suppose to ask the guy to play.  Anyone who knows me or has read previous party reports knows that I can’t ask people to play.  I have a crippling fear that tops really do not want to play with me and are just being nice.  I’m working on trying not to think that, but I am convinced if I ask anyone they will say no.  So, I don’t ask.  OS, Stacy, and I walked into the party together and OS decided that we both needed to go and ask people to play.  I gave him my best “nope” look and he told Stacy to ask Dirk to play while he spanked me.  I protested saying that this is NOT how Spankee Hawkins works!  His response?  “I don’t care.”  

Rainyspanker showed up to the party and I gave him a giant hug!  He instantly did his “thing” and picked me up.  He is such a big ol’ cuddly, grizzly bear, but he was another person who took it upon himself to spank me without doing it the proper Spankee Hawkins way!  In fact, the ONLY top I heard actually wait for a lady to ask HIM was Kor-E.  Until 6:00pm.  Then Kor-E announced that the Spankee Hawkins event was over and he didn't have to wait to be asked.  ;)

After the Spankee Hawkins event we headed up to Dirk and Ros’s suite to enjoy our company and a few beverages.  At some point all the tops in the suite decided to provide all the ladies available with 10 strokes of the cane each.  What can I say?  I LOVE the cane and I was still in my school uniform!  I was able to enjoy some cane strokes and a few strappings from the different gentlemen in the suite, bent over a couch in front of everyone.  I was happy to indulge in my exhibitionist side as well as my spanko side.  After a few more laughs I slowly headed to my room to get ready for the night events.   I lay down on the bed for a brief moment… just to rest my eyes before my British Detention with Aurora!

Shadowlane Part I

I finally have something exciting to blog about!  Yay!

This past weekend my husband and I attended the annual Shadowlane party in Las Vegas!  Spankings AND Vegas??  Yes, please!

This party could not have come at a better time for me.  Due to vanilla commitments, I was unable to attend any parties this past summer.  Going this long from BBW to now and not seeing any scene friends has been torture!!

My mind has been "bat-shit-crazy" lately thanks to an unwanted job position transfer, a personal issue that has been haunting me for several months, and just not being able to take anxiety meds due to said personal issue.  Pretty much EVERYTHING had been making me anxious.  My anxiety attacks embarrass me, but most of the time I can control the lies and stay calm. Unfortunately, with all the added stress lately, it has been difficult to keep calm. When I get like this, my brain likes to tell lies and I am teetering on a fine line of being normal and freaking out. Worst part is, once I start freaking out more lies enter and I freak out about other people knowing I am freaking out or that my freak outs are pissing off my friends.  It's been a joy.  

So late Thursday afternoon I was very antsy to get started with my road trip.  Work was freaking me out and the thoughts of leaving my vanilla woes behind was very appealing.  I practically ran out to my husband's car so we could get started on our drive to airport.  The drive felt slow and getting though security was long!  You could probably understand my frustration when we were told that our flight was to be delayed an hour.  Pubsie took me to get a drink and forced me to eat something ( too excited to be hungry!) and luckily decided to do a quick check on our flight status!  We could not hear the announcements where we were, so we almost missed that our flight was back on time and currently boarding!

Rushing back to our gate I did a little squeal of joy.  I couldn't stand the thought of having to wait even longer and I've never ever had a flight that was delayed end up leaving on time after all!  Working our way on to the plane, I noticed a man in his seat checking out the backside of the woman in front of me. On closer inspection I realized it was Inspectherhide and decided to point my finger at him and smirk knowing EXACTLY what he was doing.  He knew he was busted so we both laughed, waved, and teased each other via Fetlife.  It is fun knowing that other spankos were on the plane!  Inspectherhide also offered to drive us to the hotel in his rental car!

As Pubsie and Inspectherhide went to pick up the rental car, I waited on my lovely wifey Aurora to hurry up and land!  I kept my eyes peeled for a blond midget in heels, and after what felt like forever I was finally able to give my wifey a huge hug!!!!  We grabbed her luggage and met the guys and were FINALLY able to head towards the hotel.  As exhausted as I was, I was getting a second wind of energy due to pure excitement!  Once at the hotel, Aurora, Pubsie and I headed up to our suite on the tenth floor that we were sharing with our dear friends Kor-E and Maria!  Excited we shared hugs and I knew I could not ask for better suite mates.  A quick change and I was ready to head down to the party and meet up with everyone!!  

UNFORTUNATELY, we landed pretty late and most people had already left the suites.  As we headed down, we managed to bump into Stacy, Crashdance, OlympicSpanker, and Somaholiday.  Hugs abound, I was hoping to convince the tired group to rally but was unsuccessful.  A couple of swats from OS and knowing I would see them all soon and that we had a whole weekend, Aurora and I headed down to greet a few more people in Joe's Suite. Dirk, Ros, Strictdave, Beth, Ellee, and YoggSothoth were still up, so more hugs were abound!  One of the funnier moments was when YS was trying to get Beth and/or Ellee to head to bed with him.  Neither girl wanted to go and YS announced to Beth that the suite was dead anyway.  Of course all of us who were sitting there turned to him and shouted, "HEY!"  We could not let that comment slide without giving him a hard time.  

Aurora and I managed to stay up and watch as the suite did finally empty with the exception of Joe, Strictdave, and Ellee.  Strictdave was helping to adjust the St. Andrew's Cross and spanking bench that Joe manage to rent for the weekend and did a short scene with Ellee.  Joe announced that it would be awesome to have an audience which caused both Aurora and I to shout out "HEY!" again.  Laughing we left the suite and headed up to our room to get some rest for the long, spanking filled weekend ahead!