Shadowlane XII: Goodbye... for now!

This is my final Shadowlane party post.  Feel free to click on any of the links below to catch up on prior posts:

                                    Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V 
                             Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part XI

We spread out in a circle around the room to play tops vs bottoms catchphrase.  Basically how it works is for every point the ladies get, we get two minutes of personal service.  For every points the guys get, we get six swats.  We agreed early on that the winning team must win by two points, and that ended up resulting in one of the longest runs of catchphrase that we had ever played. 

We are an extremely competitive group.  As the rounds continued the tension rose as we playfully fought for the title of, um, catchphrase champion!  We managed to tie, and then flip back and forth between one point before the ladies finally won.  It is fun to watch everyone’s different reactions.  OS would grab the catchmaker out of my hand practically ripping my fingers off, where Dirk would remain calm and slowly sound out his clues as the gentlemen in the room would shout desperately at him. 

The giddy, tiredness started to hit us as silly conversations arose.  At one part we were arguing about what part of the worm silk comes out.  Laughing I said, “Are we really discussing what comes out of a worm’s ass!?”  The game playing continued on until after 6am and the sunrise.  I was having so much fun I didn't want the weekend to end. 

Unfortunately, good things eventually DO have to end.  We gave out some hugs and headed back to our room in an attempt to get a few hours of sleep.  Pubsie and I had to be heading out to the airport in a few hours to catch our flight home.  A brief nap, and soon our alarm was going off for us to gather our supplies and get out of dodge.

Not wanting to wake up everyone in the other suite, I was able to give a few hugs out and fight back tears.  Sometimes it is good to be the first person leaving because I do not have to be a sobbing mess when the majority of my friends were still sleeping.  I gave my wifey a huge hug, and then a few people in the other suite, before Pubsie prodded me along.  Kor-E and Maria were nice enough to give us a ride to the airport, and I fought back tears as we said goodbye.  Pubsie gave me a big hug and wiped a few of my tears as we headed into the airport.

Leaving parties are so hard for me.  I do not have many close friends in the vanilla world, and my spanko family means the world to me.  I really wished that we didn't have to be scattered all over the country, but it makes me happy that for people who truly care for one another, ways will be found to be together.  Until I find my place in this crazy world, I will continue to buy lottery tickets in the hope of purchasing that spanko commune for all of us to enjoy. 

To my spanking family:  Thank you so much for your kindness, love, and company.  I cannot wait for our next adventure!

Shadowlane Part XI: My Final Scene of the Weekend

Geez... I'm on post XI already. :-p  Here are all the others if you would like to see what I have been blabbing on about!

                              Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV Part V 
                             Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X

As the suites started to wind down, we slowly started to head up to suite 1016 for our super-overly-competitive-game-time. ;)  As we waited for everyone to show up, StrictDave's blowgun made another appearance.  OS was aiming for a water bottle and managed to dart the chair and the magazine that was the background behind the water bottle. It definitely was much harder to shoot than it looked!  I was very intrigued to try it, and Somaholiday passed on her words of wisdom that was taught to her by StrictDave.  Giving it a try, I managed to nail the water bottle on the first try.  Turns out, I was oddly good at shooting the thing and now I want one!  I'm not a hunter or anything (in fact I like to think that my protein magically shows up packaged at supermarkets as opposed to what really happens), but you never know.  It never hurts to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Most likely I will get it and shoot up the shed in my backyard for two months before getting sick of it and never using it again.  :-P

It was nice to hang out and chat, and I was looking up something on my phone when OS asked if we had a few minutes.  Since not everyone was there yet, of course we did.  Me being as dense as I am didn't understand what he was asking, so without looking up from my phone I told him kind of snarkyish if he needed a few minutes, take a few minutes.  "Do what you have to do OS!  We'll wait for you!"  He responded with a "good" and picked up his nasty hairbrush from the coffee table and grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the bedroom.  I protested because I honestly thought he had to use the bathroom or something.  

Inside the bedroom he told me to get in the corner.  I let out a disgruntled noise and shot a dirty look because I hate standing in the corner.  He responded with, "you know how I like you to stand in the corner, so it would be in your best interest to do that!!"

I sighed and stuck my nose in the corner but realized I still had my phone in my hand.  I turned to him and held it up and he took it saying that that was a wise move. I turned my nose back to the corner and he pulled my pj bottoms down to where they were hugging my lower cheeks.  

I do struggle with corner time.  I have a.d.d. and am unable to stand still in one spot for very long.  Corner time has been a battle of my wills vs my desire to please my play partners.  I hate it, but I like that my partners enjoy it and want to please them as well.  Thankfully OS seems to understand not to push and has never made me stand in the same spot for too long.  His tone and demeanor put butterflies in my tummy and I was a tiny bit nervous when he called me over to him.  

He pulled me over his lap and started to spank as he asked me if I knew why I was getting this particular spanking.  In my defense, it was very late Sunday night (technically Monday morning) of a spanking party and thanks to the abnormally long party drought for me between BBW and Shadowlane, I may have done and said a lot of sassy things in the four months between parties.  I was not sure what exactly he was talking about, and I also didn't want to provide any more ammunition just in case I was reminding him about things he didn't think of or things he maybe had forgotten about.  

Slightly amused, he told me to think harder and switched to that nasty hairbrush.  Trying desperately to think up the correct answer, I begged for a timeline.  Slightly smirking he said, "sure!  It was last May!"  I believe that was when the panties came down.

That did help and at first I asked if it was the online detention slips/punishment book shenanigans (it wasn't) and then I remembered the photo.  The Ohio State finger salut.  That brought us closer to the real reason.  Now it was not the picture (he does have a sense of humor) that he was thinking about, but an actual reaction to something I did/texted that was very real and very powerful to me that that was what he was spanking me for.  It is so hard for me to let people get inside my head, and he nailed it.  This was something I struggle with (with everyone, not just him or Spankos) and he had just called me out on it.  

I do not get spanked for real things very often, and by real I mean something I do not do on purpose.  It may seem like such a little thing to anyway else, but for me it was something that I have and continue to battle in my neurotic brain and occasionally get taken advantage of because if it.  When I pulled it on OS, he called it out way back in May, but it didn't register with me at the time.  That is how often I do this. It is second nature and I don't realize I am doing it.  I know it must be frustrating because I am not saying what it is, but this is my blog so you will just have to deal with it. ;)

My mindset had completely changed and I was caught slightly off guard, mostly because that is how rare it is to get in my head and put me into a submissive demeanor.  I was sorry and I no longer knew how to react.

The scolding made my eyes water and I tried very hard to stay focused and do as he asked.  The hairbrush continued to come down as I struggled against the sting of the wood wishing that I had played more during the day to be warmed up enough to take it gracefully.  My mind was still processing pain, scolding, and being disappointed with myself not to be more trusting of someone I adore so much.  

I don't remember ever seeing such a serious look on OS's face before. He took off his belt and told me that he was going to reinforce this lesson with his belt to help me remember in the future.  

I am not sure exactly what is wrong with me, but I do know that if I say the right words our scene will wrap up.  However, I became tongue tied.  I'm not sure if it is my inner stubbornness to test his resolve and see if he really DOES mean it, or the fact that I really felt that I deserved the discomfort, or the fact that my headspace was in the right spot to accept stroke after stroke, but I stayed silent with the exception of shrieks when the belt came down on a particularly tender spot.  The strokes continued with out stopping for quite a while.  I'm not even sure how long he ended up strapping me.  I turned a few times to see if I could catch his eye and possibly end the scene with my "I'm really sorry eyes", but the look and focus on his face was one of a top that wasn't going to stop until I submitted to what he had asked.  

Something in my brain finally clicked and I found my words.  Our scene wrapped up with some remarks, and then because I opened up my big mouth and made some remarks in an attempt to lighten my mood and be funny, I ended up back on the bed for a few more. 

OS told me that my bottom was very red and to go check it out in a mirror.  He was right.  It was the reddest I have seen it in a long time and I actually regret that we didn't get a picture.  I think that almost all the marks I got from the weekend were from this one scene. He gave me a big hug and whispered how he loved me, but as the adrenaline from the scene was wearing off, I was actually shaking and needed to sit down.  OS grabbed me some water as I calmed down and tried to de-fuzz my brain.  Of course in this moment I started apologizing for shaking and because I was just now realizing how long I had let that scene go on when others were waiting for us. I was even told to take a sip of water every time I wanted to say I was sorry, but I really wanted to apologize for being a pain in the ass and not submitting earlier.  He just shook his head and said, "you can't help yourself, can you!?"  I promise to keep working on it!

Thinking back, it was pretty selfish of me to hog up all his time, but it was the type of intensity that I had been craving for a long time and he is one of the few tops that I trust enough to give it to me.  When we went to join the rest of our friends for a night of games, sweet Stacy looked so concerned and she asked me if I was all right. I said yes, and thanked her for being so sweet and kind and nice enough to share her daddy.  Stacy and OS have this beautiful relationship and I know that they do not get to spend as much time together as they would like.  The fact that Stacy is nice enough to share her precious time is something I am incredibly grateful for.  She could easily tell me to go away and I would be more than happy to oblige! It is this kindness that makes us feel as if we are a real family.  We genuinely care for each other.  Heck, it is much nicer than what my real family is capable of giving.  :-P  

The adrenaline was definitely wearing off and I could feel the results of that particular spanking as I sat on the couch to get ready for an intense version of spanko catchphrase!

Shadowlane Part I

I finally have something exciting to blog about!  Yay!

This past weekend my husband and I attended the annual Shadowlane party in Las Vegas!  Spankings AND Vegas??  Yes, please!

This party could not have come at a better time for me.  Due to vanilla commitments, I was unable to attend any parties this past summer.  Going this long from BBW to now and not seeing any scene friends has been torture!!

My mind has been "bat-shit-crazy" lately thanks to an unwanted job position transfer, a personal issue that has been haunting me for several months, and just not being able to take anxiety meds due to said personal issue.  Pretty much EVERYTHING had been making me anxious.  My anxiety attacks embarrass me, but most of the time I can control the lies and stay calm. Unfortunately, with all the added stress lately, it has been difficult to keep calm. When I get like this, my brain likes to tell lies and I am teetering on a fine line of being normal and freaking out. Worst part is, once I start freaking out more lies enter and I freak out about other people knowing I am freaking out or that my freak outs are pissing off my friends.  It's been a joy.  

So late Thursday afternoon I was very antsy to get started with my road trip.  Work was freaking me out and the thoughts of leaving my vanilla woes behind was very appealing.  I practically ran out to my husband's car so we could get started on our drive to airport.  The drive felt slow and getting though security was long!  You could probably understand my frustration when we were told that our flight was to be delayed an hour.  Pubsie took me to get a drink and forced me to eat something ( too excited to be hungry!) and luckily decided to do a quick check on our flight status!  We could not hear the announcements where we were, so we almost missed that our flight was back on time and currently boarding!

Rushing back to our gate I did a little squeal of joy.  I couldn't stand the thought of having to wait even longer and I've never ever had a flight that was delayed end up leaving on time after all!  Working our way on to the plane, I noticed a man in his seat checking out the backside of the woman in front of me. On closer inspection I realized it was Inspectherhide and decided to point my finger at him and smirk knowing EXACTLY what he was doing.  He knew he was busted so we both laughed, waved, and teased each other via Fetlife.  It is fun knowing that other spankos were on the plane!  Inspectherhide also offered to drive us to the hotel in his rental car!

As Pubsie and Inspectherhide went to pick up the rental car, I waited on my lovely wifey Aurora to hurry up and land!  I kept my eyes peeled for a blond midget in heels, and after what felt like forever I was finally able to give my wifey a huge hug!!!!  We grabbed her luggage and met the guys and were FINALLY able to head towards the hotel.  As exhausted as I was, I was getting a second wind of energy due to pure excitement!  Once at the hotel, Aurora, Pubsie and I headed up to our suite on the tenth floor that we were sharing with our dear friends Kor-E and Maria!  Excited we shared hugs and I knew I could not ask for better suite mates.  A quick change and I was ready to head down to the party and meet up with everyone!!  

UNFORTUNATELY, we landed pretty late and most people had already left the suites.  As we headed down, we managed to bump into Stacy, Crashdance, OlympicSpanker, and Somaholiday.  Hugs abound, I was hoping to convince the tired group to rally but was unsuccessful.  A couple of swats from OS and knowing I would see them all soon and that we had a whole weekend, Aurora and I headed down to greet a few more people in Joe's Suite. Dirk, Ros, Strictdave, Beth, Ellee, and YoggSothoth were still up, so more hugs were abound!  One of the funnier moments was when YS was trying to get Beth and/or Ellee to head to bed with him.  Neither girl wanted to go and YS announced to Beth that the suite was dead anyway.  Of course all of us who were sitting there turned to him and shouted, "HEY!"  We could not let that comment slide without giving him a hard time.  

Aurora and I managed to stay up and watch as the suite did finally empty with the exception of Joe, Strictdave, and Ellee.  Strictdave was helping to adjust the St. Andrew's Cross and spanking bench that Joe manage to rent for the weekend and did a short scene with Ellee.  Joe announced that it would be awesome to have an audience which caused both Aurora and I to shout out "HEY!" again.  Laughing we left the suite and headed up to our room to get some rest for the long, spanking filled weekend ahead!

Hugging is Good Medicine

Picture taken from Facebook

The photo above was posted by one of my friends on my vanilla facebook.  I love it.  The drop that hits after an amazing party is terrible.  It really makes me realize how lonely I am in my town and how I wish that we lived closer to friends.  Don't get me wrong, I love my husband.  He is my rock, my soul mate, my best friend.  I just haven't made any connections, vanilla or other, since moving here.  It's lonely.

Hugging is good medicine.  I fully believe that.  I crave hugs.  I love to give hugs.  I love to receive them.  Above all else, I love to be held, pulled in and loved.  I crave that attention.  The little girl in me wants to be held tight and told that everything will be okay.  

A huge part of a good scene for me is the after hug.  Even during short party scenes, I love the after hug.  If I just let you beat my bottom, please take the time for a squeeze.  It helps me connect with you.  During long, more mentally and emotionally intimate scenes, ending without being pulled in and hugged would destroy me.  

If a girl chooses, she will put her heart in your hand.  She will be raw and vulnerable.  If she grants you that gift, hold her.  Talk to her.  Provide soothing words.  Stroke her hair.  Kiss her forhead!  For that moment, hold as if you will never let go.  Do not take her gift to you for granted.

Remember that spankos are hug-os.  Get your 12 hugs a day for personal growth.

XII: Saying Goodbye the Socially Awkward Spanko Way

This picture belongs further down, but I would rather have this pop up on the blog lists than the blister one!

This is my last party entry!  If you missed any click here:

Part I            Part V        Part IX

Part II        Part VI      Part X

Part III        Part VII       Part XI

Part IV        Part VIII       Part XII

After the awesome scene we all headed back down towards the suite parties.  I was loopy and a little out of it, but I'm pretty sure I had a huge dopey grin on my face.  Kor-E managed to take my hand and pull me over his knee.  I felt really bad because I was starting to come down and the reality of the spanking I just took was starting to hit.  I was sore.  I had a few spots in particular that really hurt even when just lightly touched.  One on my sit spot turned out to be a blister.  I literally had my bottom blistered!

An actual blister!!!!

Kor-E was barely touching me and I couldn't help but say, "Ouch!  Ow! Ow!"  He laughed and said that the ouchies were music to his ears!  I was still loopy from the scene before, but it was nice to Kor-E to cool me down.  I almost fell asleep over his lap I was so relaxed! Then he would touch an ouchie spot with his fingernails!  Even the nicest tops are really super mean. ;)

A group of our friends were sitting in the hallway outside of a suite room.  With my husband being there, I curled up next to him and put my head on his lap.  I'm not sure if I actually fell asleep, but he was pushing for me to go to bed.  I hate going to bed when everyone is still up.  I feel like I will miss something!!  He tricked me into going back to our room and lying on the bed to apply arinca and lotion to combat some of the bruising.  Once I was face down on the bed, I fell asleep and was not going back out to the party.  :(

Waking up came all too soon.  Apparently our hotel was trying to get back at us for our late night smacking sounds and decided to start drilling and hammering on the ceiling above us!  It was torture!!!  Who the hell drills and hammers above hotel rooms at 7 fucking am?  I was so tired that after tossing and turning, I was able to put a pillow around my ears and fall back asleep.  When I would wake the second time, the drilling would be finished.

Heather, Publikk, and I slowly started to pack up all the scattered clothing items and implements around our room.  Publikk and I had a few hours before we had to leave for our flight, and Uncle OS had extended his room stay and was nice enough to let us stick our suitcases in there before checkout.  Hugs farewell are the hardest things for me to do.  Sarah_Rocks and PPD were able to sneak away early in the morning without me balling my eyes out to her.  Poor jules wasn't as lucky!  I gave Uncle Mike and Aunt Miranda a huge hug and walked down to the lobby with jules to say goodbye.  I hate that we all live so far apart from one another.  I hate more that I work a job with such crappy pay that doesn't allow me to be able to visit everyone as much as I would like!  We gave final hugs and turned away to meet with some stragglers for lunch at the hotel buffet.

Strictdave, Stacy, Uncle OS, Ellee, Beth, YoggSothoth, Heather, Maria, Kor-E, Publikk and I took over a table to enjoy our last minute company with each other.  I was able to witness how evil StrictDave really is when poor little Ellee came bouncy back to the table with a bowl of ice cream and sprinkles and he decided to dump his left over shrimp legs into it!  The tragic look on her face was adorable and I felt so bad for her.  Luckily he set it right by getting her another bowl of ice cream with sprinkles.

Publikk and I were talking about taking one last walk on the boardwalk when he knocked over what I thought was water (it was sprite!) all over me.  My pants were soaked and uncomfortable and I had no desire to walk around with wet jeans for the rest of the day.  I asked Uncle OS if it was okay to use the hair dryer in his room to try and dry my pants.  On the way up I ran into my lovely mistress/wifey/ the Power Aurora and had to stop and give big hugs.  Aurora was starting a new adventure of her own this week moving her even farther way from me.  :(  I teared up saying goodbye and left shivering thanks to the stupid wet sprite pants.

I was able to get the hair dryer going and helped lessen the yuck of the sprite pants, but at that moment I decided to ruin any pleasant good bye I could have had by knocking over a bottle of red nail polish and having it shatter all over my foot and the floor of the hotel bathroom.  I was horrified at the huge mess I had just made and starting shrieking, "OH! OH! OH!"  StrictDave, Publikk, and Ellee came running to see what was wrong, and it took them a second to realize it wasn't blood all over my foot, but nail polish!  If you have ever spilled nail polish before, you know what a bitch it is to clean up.  I was in full panic/horror mode because I felt so horrible that my klutziness managed to make a disaster of a mess right before we had to leave.  I ran and got some paper towels, picked glass out of my foot, and tried to wipe up as much as the nail polish I could.  Panicking I sent Publikk to run down to the store and pick up some nail polish remover and I fought back tears as I tried my hardest to clean the mess up.  Stacy came upstairs and saw my mess and grabbed some nail polish remover pads and began to help me clean up the floor.  I felt horrible in making her help and by using up all her nail polish remover.  We were able to get the majority of the nail polish off the ground, and in retrospect it really wasn't that big of a disaster as I felt it to be, but it's those types of dumb klutzy things that I do that make me nervous that everyone will shun me and leave being mad at me.

Because I felt horrible, I couldn't help but apologize a million times.  Apparently I was apologizing too much, and Kor-E felt the need give me a "proper" goodbye/reminder to not apologize too much. Then when I called Publikk to let him know he didn't need to buy the nail polish remover, I kept apologizing to him on the phone because I felt bad ruining HIS last moments.  Apparently I was told that if I apologized one more time I would get the hairbrush, and even then I continued to say I was sorry.  I couldn't help it!  I felt so guilty and I still feel guilty.  I was then bent over the chair and given the most confusing hairbrush spanking ever!  I had to say I wasn't sorry, but then I kept apologizing for saying I'm sorry!!  So I was sorry for being sorry and that didn't help either!  At least it made me giggle and stop freaking out!

The sorry I'm sorry spanking!  Photo by the lovely Stacymacy

For the record and I promise the final time I will say it, I really am sorry that that was how I managed to end our time together!  I'm sorry that I broke the nail polish, shrieked, and made a huge mess.  I am sorry that I left glass and nail polish all over the bathroom floor.  I am sorry that I used up all the nail polish remover wipes and made Publikk run to the store to grab some more when he didn't need to.  I'm sorry I used up several paper towels and potentially made the maids super angry and would have caused them to file extra charges to the room for my klutziness.  I am so sorry that I caused that huge mess moments before we had to leave.

It was time for last minute hugs and there were so many people that I wanted to hang on to and never let go.  That final goodbye and party drop is the worse.  I do not have many close vanilla friends, especially in the town I currently live in.  To have found so many wonderful, lovely people who as a bonus happen to be spankos too, and then sprinkle them all over the country far away from me is one of the cruelest tortures the universe has thrown my way.

Publikk and I left the suite floor for the last time and met up with Melville who would be flying back home with us.  The hour and a half to the airport was spent chatting and discussing the wonderful weekend.  I sat in the back of the van as we drove lost in my emotions and thoughts.  I sent a few texts in an attempt to hold on to the awesome weekend and began jotting down any notes and memories from the weekend that I could in order to help organize my thoughts.  I felt the soreness of the weekend as I sat in the van, moved around the airport, and settled down onto the plane.  I smiled to myself as I leaned against my Pubsie and tried not to let myself cry the whole way home.

Thank you to EVERYONE who made my weekend as amazing as it was.  I love you all so much and have bought some lottery tickets in the hope of being able to someday buy the spanking island commune for all of us.

BBW Post X: British Discipline Group and Detention With the Cousins

If you missed any, start here:

Part I

Stephen Lewis, Mrs. Darling, Mr. Allen, and the head girls Catherine, and Zoe were nice enough to donate their time by creating a British Discipline group that allowed for girls to take part of a role play as if they were being sent to the Headmasters office for correctional needs.  It is an awesome concept that I was too chicken to sign up for at Shadowlane, but the lovely Maria decided to coral and organize a cousin detention time for all of us to participate in.   Since there were so many of us and we were all involved with different aspects of BBW, the only time we could all get together would be Sunday night after the cruise.

We were all directed to be prepared for our detention at 9pm sharp.  Since Heather's and my room was connected to the British Discipline room, we had all the girls meet at our room at 8:30 so we wouldn't be late.  We were super giggly as everyone started to show up.  Heather, Maria, Stacy, Sarah, Aurora, Ellee and I were bouncing around the room as we waited for 9pm to arrive.  Unfortunately Beth was unable to make it and we thought jules wouldn't be able to either, but at the last second jules arrived to join in the chaos!  

At about two minutes to nine, Mrs. Darling burst through our connecting door and warned us that we had two minutes to be ready.  Assuming we would be using the connecting door, we hung around giggling for longer than two minutes.  It was then that we were informed that we should be waiting by the outside door and that we were now all late.  As everyone rushed out of our room to line up outside, my nervous energy burst and I thought that it might be a good idea to knock crazy on the door and then quickly run away to the end of the line.  The door soon burst open and Maria and Heather were whisked away while the rest of us were required to wait outside.  The rest of us stood around giggling until we were threatened to be quiet.  We starting talking and giggling again until we were threatened with all of us being caned on the front of our thighs.  That line managed to echo down the hallway and draw some curious looks our way from the other party goers.  The majority of us stood back in line quietly, but Ellee soon stepped back out and quietly continued her conversation with us.

We could hear smacking noises coming through the door as Heather and Maria were being attended to.  Soon the door flew open and the rest of us were to file inside.  Poor Heather and Maria were standing with their noses against the wall as we lined up to face the discipline panel.  Headmaster Lewis, School Secretary Mrs. Darling, and Head Girl Zoe were awaiting us.  

The three Brits did an amazing job staring us down.  I had goosebumps as they began to lecture us.  Of course the first thing they asked was, "Which one of you knocked on the door and ran away!?"  For a split second I hesitated wondering if I should admit that it was me, but at that point I had no idea why Heather and Maria were called into the room before the rest of us.   I was worried one of them may have cracked (Heather!) or I was worried that I brought super doom down on all of us.  So as they waited glaring at us, I slowly raised my hand admitting that it had been me who knocked and ran.  At least they appreciated that I had been honest, but it didn't stop me from having to go first when it came to turning our detention slips over.  

What is driving me crazy is I know I saved the slip and I cannot find it!  I can't remember exactly what it said, but I was in trouble for two reasons.  1.) It is only okay to answer a question without being a smart alec and 2.)  Wiggling and giggling during my bad girl corner spanking.  Once again I found myself over headmaster Lewis's knee (*swoon*) being hand spanked for my transgressions, and then given ten more for my knock and dash.  It is hard for me to keep my feet on the ground while I am being spanked OTK, and at one point I actually LOST my shoes.  I was wearing my adorable purple kitty cat shoes that I love so much, but Mrs. Darling did not seem to approve of them.  In fact, I was told that she did not approve of my rodent shoes!  Unable to help myself, I had to explain that the shoes were in fact CATS with pointy ears and whiskers.  Not listening to reasoning, she told me they looked like RATS!  :-(

I found it!!  

After that exchange I found myself up with my nose against the wall as the other girls were brought forward on their own charges.  Standing with my noise against the wall was very hard for me because I really wanted to turn around and watch the ongoings!  I could not help but giggle and it is really hard for me to stay focused in the corner anyway.  This was really cool though, because by the time all the girls were punished, every single one of us had our skirts up and nose in the corner.  As the last girl was punished for our transgressions, we were called forward again for round two!  Apparently Mrs. Darling assumed I was trying to whisper to Maria.  I wasn't.  Maria was being to good of a girl and refused to catch my eye!  ;)  So it was back over the chair for a strapping.  With Maria on the other side!  It would be my turn, then Maria's turn and we were suppose to count and thank the headmaster for our punishment.  I just happen to be very bad at following directions.  I counted... but I forgot to thank him for my punishment.  So we had to do it again.  Then my nerves got to me and I stuttered over counting!  That was an extra swat as well.  When Maria and I were finished, we were both back with our noses against the wall.  Aurora and Sarah were punished for their inappropriate girl on girl action, and their double caning was amazing!  It was becoming even more difficult for me to stay with my noise against the wall.  The sweet and innocent Stacy whose original charge was to show the rest of us the proper way to take a spanking was spanked because of these inappropriate shoes that jules got her.  Jules was spanked again for "snotting" on the wall.  Ellee was spanked for her fox shoes, purse, and panties, and then Heather... sweet cousin Heather... my Boardwalk Academy Roommate, sold all the cousins out the night before!!!!!!!!!  After snitching to the headmaster and secretary that the best way to break us would be to "divide and conquer" and to "take out jules and the rest will follow", we were allowed to turn and watch her comeuppance!!

The detention was so much fun and the quick witted response from the team was amazing.  A few of the comments that had us all cracking up was when Mrs. Darling asked, "What does a fox say, Headmaster?" After Ellee was turned over and with Heather standing against the wall being her naughty self, Mrs. Darling said: "Heather!!!!  Your gaping hole is getting wider!"  After we all started snickering, Mrs. Darling asked, "HEADMASTER!  What am I supposed to do with a room full of crude American girls!"  

After watching Heather get what she deserved, :)  we all had to sign the discipline book, thank the group for punishing us, and we headed back to our room.  Our half hour detention turned out to be closer to two hours when all was said and done!  With all the girls being occupied, the guys down the hall discussed barging down to save themselves from the sausage fest.

The Punishment Book

Thanks so much to Maria for organizing this for all of us and the wonderful Brits for being such good sports and playing along.  I really hope that we can all do this again at the next party! 

BBW Part IX: The "I Luv Adult Speaking" Cruise

My posts are getting ridiculous, LOL!  If you missed any, start here:

Part I

After leaving the restaurant I was feeling like I had the rug pulled out from underneath me.  Then it took a while for Publikk and I to find our car, plus we were pushing it close to catching the shuttles to the cruise, and I was really tired from the lack of sleep of the weekend... a panic attack was beginning to build inside of me.  All I really wanted was to sit in my room and compose myself and of course it was at that moment that the maids happened to be cleaning our room. 

With Publikk having to do something and me with no place to go holding a bag of Italian food, I wandered down to Joe and Ten's suite to offer up the leftovers for the party suite.  Ten saw the look on my face and could figure that there was something wrong with me.  Even though she had to get down to the shuttle service with Joe, she pulled me into their bathroom and helped me calm down.  I am very grateful for Ten because had I had a full blown panic attack, I would most likely have decided to skip out on the cruise!

With my room finally being free I was able to put on warmer clothes for the boat ride.  It was such a nice day, but I knew that once that sun went down it would be too cold for this southern living girl!

This was the first BBW where we were able to stay until Monday!  Normally we need to leave way too early on Sunday and miss out on many of the fun things going on.  The I Luv Adult Speaking Cruise was something I had been looking forward to for weeks!

There were three scheduled shuttle runs to the boat, all organized by cousin Joe with his clipboard and captain's hat.  Publikk and I had to be split up, but we were at the boat in no time.  120 Spankos climbed on ready for a spanking boat ride!  We hadn't even left the harbor yet and people were already starting to play. RainySpanker and PPD spent the weekend doing this weird redneck accent that unfortunately did sound like the people from the town I currently work in. :-P  RainySpanker found it pertinent to strap me for all that "sass" that comes out of my mouth.  Afterwards he bet me I couldn't not sass for five minutes!  I decided that I just wouldn't speak and smirked at him for the five minutes.  Even with the jokes about how, "hyuck hyuck! We got her quiet."  I continued to stand there quietly smirking at RainySpanker.  When he told me the five minutes were up, I continued to stand there quietly and smirk at him. It took another minute, but then he realized by purposely not saying a word and smirking I was providing plenty of sass.  It's a gift to be able to sass without having to say a word at all!!

As the boat started moving, Publikk said that he had never spanked anyone on a boat before.  I asked him if he wanted to. ;)  He pulled me over his lap and proceeded to give me his first ever boat spanking.  As silly as it is, it still makes me happy that we still have first moments that we get to share with each other.  It also surprised me that this was the first time we had played with each other all weekend.  I know that we see each other everyday, but I still like to be able to play and share the special party mojo with each other as well!

The boat took off into the harbor and the weather was beautiful!  The sounds of smacks echoed throughout the ship and Publikk and I joined the crowd for the drawbridge spanking.  Once passing through the bridge, we noticed a fisherman fist bumping the air, apparently overjoyed at the eyeful he just received!!  We went around the harbor looking at the Atlantic City boardwalk.  At one point Publikk realized that he had not followed through on his threat to spank the power.  Unfortunately for him, both Sarah_Rocks and I were feeling feisty, so I helped fill Sarah with the power as we both flew her off Publikk's lap! Sarah was also nice enough to help Publikk with his sore shoulder.  He is such a stubborn man when it comes to going to the doctor!  Luckily the lovely Elleebutt was there to get all toppy and lecture him.  Somehow that turned into both of us being bent over and spanked together.  All because we tried to help someone be a better person!!

The cruise ended as the sun was setting and the captain made a joke about seeing hundreds of moons on this trip but for to look at the one beautiful sunset. Of course as predicted, once the sun set, I did begin to freeze.  Luckily, the people on the second floor of the boat huddled in a circle for comfort and warmth.  It was such a great way to end the evening.

Getting off the boat, we didn't even have to wait for a shuttle!  Strict Dave and Ellee brought a rental car and offered us a ride back to the hotel.  I was so grateful, because at that point I was already starting to shiver violently.  It is amazing how fast your blood thins when you move to the south. 

Thank you Joe and Ten for organizing an amazing boat ride.  Dedicating it to Marc just made it even more special!

Boardwalk Badness Weekend Part III: The Vendor's Fair and Friday Night Suite Parties

In case you missed them:

Part I

Part II

The Friday night Vendor's Fair is always hopping at BBW!  Publikk and I walked around looking at the different vendors and giving hugs to friends that we haven't seen in what feels like forever.  The beautiful Beth Eisley was selling her panties and I bought the cutest pair of woven fox panties that she hand made herself!  I was looking for a picture of the pair I bought, but you can see her current panties selection at: http://madebysomebunny.weebly.com/.  Excited I folded the pair up and stuck them in my purse for later... which would turn into a story all on its own.

Beth Panties!  

I do have one Vendor Fair regret and I blame my nerves with meeting new people on this.  Stepfordwife brought a collection of beautiful vintage dresses to sell at the vendors fair.  There was an awesome fashion show that showed off the amazing dresses and many of the girls were buying their madmen themed dresses for the Saturday night banquet.  Everyone who bought a dressed looked absolutely amazing in them. Unfortunately, I was too nervous to walk over and interrupt all the the girls selling and buying.  I chickened out and ended up missing out on a great opportunity.  Sometimes it is the silliest things that make me so nervous and I hate it.  I keep promising myself that I will get braver and make it through one party without freaking out over something, crying over something stupid, having a panic attack, and introducing myself to new people that I would very much like to get to know better!  That didn't happen at this party, LOL.

New to the Vendor's fair this year was the "Bad Girl Corner,"  suggested by Stacy (!!!!) and run by OlympiaSpanker.  The top filled out a slip as to why the girl needed to stand in the corner and the bottom was suppose to sign the slip before turning it in.  However, the slip just said "Bottom's signature."  It didn't specify the bottom in trouble, so, I happily signed PPD's slip to put Sarah_Rock's in the bad girl corner!  :-D  Sarah_Rocks, however, didn't think it was that funny and dragged Publikk off to make up some lame reason as to why I needed to go to the bad girl corner as well.  Called up to the stage, I was made to stand in the corner only to find out that Mr. Stephen Lewis would be administrating my bad girl spanking.  *Swoon!*  I have had a spanko crush on him for a long time, and in typical S.A.S. fashion,  I giggled like a nervous, obnoxious, dumbass at the chance of getting to play with him instead of soaking in the moment as much as I could!

Shortly after the bad girl corner, the Vendor's Fair Angels and Demons contest was to get started.  After doing the last three vendor fair contests, I asked nicely not to participate in it again.  Well, actually I was really tired and cranky at a party over the summer and whined to Uncle Mike about how I hated it and never wanted to do it again.  After that, the proper way to back out was...uh...discussed and I politely requested not to partake this year.  I decided to use the time to provide Richard Windsor with an extra set of hands during the sale, catch up, and show him the proper way to sell DVDs. ;)  The angels ran away with the contest having run out of poker chips and quickly trying to make up more!

Publikk and I went back up to our room to freshen up for the parties in the suite.   I am really grateful that Heather offered to share her suite with us.  Not only did we get to share our room with an awesome lady, but we didn't have far to go when it came to the suite parties.   We were really spoiled this year! Anyway, It was at that moment, that I took out the adorable Beth panties and realized that I had not one, but TWO pairs of her panties!!!!  I was horrified!!!!!!!  I felt so bad that I instantly texted Beth to let her know that I took a pair.  Of course her response was to tease me and call me a thief, but I still felt horrible!!!  I had images of someone wanting the same panties and me having stolen the last in her size.  I carefully folded them up and placed them in our cabinet until I could return the panties to her.

 We headed down the hall and popped into Dirk's suite.  Dirk is amazingly generous and willingly opens his suite and bar tab to the majority of the party. I can't remember if this was Thursday night, or Friday night, but IMLX managed to get a hold of me and spanked my while scolding me in Russian.  I do not speak Russian and he could have been saying anything to me, however, getting scolded in Russian is amazing.  IMLX is one of the sweetest guys in the scene and is so fun to play with.  I was glad that we were able to catch up again at this party!

Pulls_Panties_Down is another gem of a top that I love to play with.  He pulled me over his lap on the couch and started to provide me with a wonderful hand spanking.  However, towards the end of the spanking, Miss Aurora mentioned "The Power" and PPD whispered back "THERE  WILL BE NO POWER."  I am pretty sure that it would take an entire blog post to explain what "The Power" is and still have no one understand, but at that moment I was inspired to do our trademark "The Power" soar for freedom.  Mr. PPD however, is no stranger to the power considering it is his fault "The Power" exists in the first place!  As I soared off the couch I felt a grab at my ankles and a pull, with a "NO MORE POWER" scold.  Now I was kneeling on the couch as PPD took off his London Tanner's belt and gave me a few licks.  It is a very nice belt, but it REALLY needs to be broken in more.  Hopefully he was able to help it along during the rest of the weekend!

The rest of Friday night passed in a blur as people played, talked, and entertained one another.  It would be close to 4am before I would crawl into bed in order to be up and ready for the new Boardwalk Academy event taking place at 11 sharp the next morning.

Boardwalk Badness Weekend Part II

Friday morning came quickly as Heather had to get up early and run for hair and makeup in preparation for the  fashion show.  Thankfully Publikk was willing to run and get me coffee as I slowly pulled myself out of bed.  Uncle Mike managed to lure us to the Newbie/Shybie party with the promise of the best pizza in Atlantic City!


I headed down to the Tanner Suite and squeezed myself into the room hoping to sneak a piece of pizza right away.  That part didn't work, but I was able to see wifey number two, the beautiful Aurora and sneak a hug from her without squealing too loud and interrupting Uncle Mike.  I had never attended a newbie party before and found the information to be very interesting.  If you are reading this and are thinking of attending your first party, please go to these meetings.  They provide a lot of information and helpful advice!  I patiently waited eyeing that pizza and thankfully the questions and information section ended soon!  I grabbed a giant slice of pepperoni and sighed (enter obligatory "that's what she said" comment).  The pizza was delicious.

After the meeting I was finally able to throw my arms around my longtime friend Richard Windsor.  The poor guy was so tired after his pool and hot tub party, he went to bed early and missed hanging out with me!!  At first I sent him a text with idle threats about how he better not be at the bar without me!  Together with Aurora, Jules, Uncle Mike,  Kor-E, Buzzy, and my husband, we went downstairs to help set up the ballroom for the weekend's activities.  Aurora, Jules, and I set up the ladies freshen up area (which we probably moved around way more than necessary) and the guys put up the spanking booths.  The time went by quickly and soon we were running to get ready to "bunny up" for the vendors meet and greet!

Last year I was so excited to be asked to be one of the bunny greeters.  I have no idea why they asked me because I am no where near as cute and adorable as the other bunny greeters, but they offered me bunny ears and a tail and I said hellz yeah!  I loved it so much I held on to my bunny ears in the hope of being asked again.  As bunny greeters it was our job to walk and greet people and try to make them feel welcome to the party.  San Francisco Tom was nice enough to buy us all a "bunny shot" and what kind of bunny event would it be if we didn't all join in and do the bunny hop across the room!

I didn't realize until after we all "de-bunnied" that I didn't get any bunny pictures of the girls this year!  So instead I offer you this:

   Amazing what guys will do when girls pout! ;)

The three hours passed by quickly and soon it was time to put the bunny ears away and report to the tanner suite for our meeting with Aunt Miranda!

Miranda is the sweetest and badassy-est woman I know.  She gives amazing advice, is hilarious, and has a heart of gold.  She could tell how awful I was feeling Thursday night and knew how to make me feel better.  She asked for the cousins to come to her suite because she found the cutest little perfume bottles and gave them to us as presents.  At the time of this writing I can not find the adorable box they came in, but I KNOW I packed it somewhere!  I will come back and add it in as soon as I can find it!

I am naughty perfume!!

I was so touched by the nice things Miranda said to us that I almost forgot it was time to get ready for the vendor's fair!!

To be continued...

Boardwalk Badness Weekend Part I

I am back from another amazing party weekend at BBW!!!!  To fight the drop, I have spent last night and parts of today attempting to jot down every memory that I could think of and actually hurry up and blog about the weekend before I forget!!  This was the best party I have ever been to and I had several memorable moments with great people, chosen family and friends.  Based on the notes I jotted down, I will need to break the weekend up into several blog posts, lol.


So I present to you:  BOARDWALK BADNESS WEEKEND 2014 from the view point of SAS.  Enjoy.



The week leading up to BBW was not a great week for me.  Due to some things going on in my vanilla life, I have been extra jumpy and stressed. Last Sunday my face decided to revolt against me and my lips broke out really bad.  I looked as if I walked into something, was punched in the mouth, or fell on my face.  I was horrified.  With bad news on Thursday prior to leaving for the party, I was extra shaky, nervous, and miserable.  I was feeling so horrible about everything and myself that I almost backed out of going to the party at all.  Worse, I was worried that people would take one look at my face and run for the hills!

                                        
                                                                     "Face Leprosy" 

We left town Thursday evening and started our adventure north to Atlantic City.  I was on pins and needles and bouncing with both nerves and excitement.  I was terribly jealous of all the people who were already at the party and texts were coming all day asking where we were!  I hate having to miss some of the fun but unfortunately I just don't have the extra days to take off!  This was the first BBW party where we were actually staying until Monday!  Even though we got an extra day, I couldn't help but wish I was able to take off MORE time.  ;)

Our travels were uneventful until we attempted to get our rental car.  One guy working the counter and we were the last flight of the night!  It took him ONE FREAKING HOUR to give us our car.  I was climbing up the walls as this point.  Didn't the rental place understand that we had a party to get to!!??

Finally on our way, we didn't end up getting to the hotel until after 1am.  Taking the elevator to the suite floor, I tried to bury my face in my coat so no one would see my face leprosy since any makeup I did have on had worn off.  Unfortunately (only at that one moment), our room was on the suite floor and I was unable to duck into my room unseen.  As happy as I was to see friends, I was tired, annoyed with the rental car place, still nervous and upset about how people would react to my face, and hyped up on emotions.  Quickly looking for Heather who kindly had offered to share her room with us, I tried to avoid as many people as possible until I had the chance to freshen up!

I was a nervous wreck as I decided to brave the people, but luckily the first people I saw were my lovely girls who made me feel better about my face.  I was so mortified as my eyes teared up, but my horrible week and face leprosy made me so anxious that I couldn't help it.  Hugs from jules helped to calm me down and words of encouragement reminded me why I love these wonderful people!!  Feeling much braver I went in the rooms and hugged and greeted many as I jumped up and down squealed!  1/3 of THE POWER waited up for me as the lovely Ms. Sarah_Rocks threw her arms around me!  Rainyspanker greeted my with his tradition bear hug that involved picking me up into the air.  I believe my favorite greeting of the night came from Uncle OS when I thought I was leaning in for a hug and was bent over the ottoman and spanked instead!!  That is officially my party record as the fastest I've ever been spanked at a party.  Thursday night (or I guess I should say Friday morning!) came to an end as I had some amazing girl catch up time, a nightcap, and went to bed around 3am.  Pretty early for me!  We had a whole weekend of partying ahead of us.  ;)

An Ode to My Girls, and Why Girlfriends Make Life Better

I've never had a lot of friends.  Especially girlfriends.

I was always kind of a tom boy growing up and am a little rough around the edges.  I never was boy crazy, I didn't care about clothes, and I didn't start wearing makeup until I was in college (and even now I only put it on for special occasions).

I tried very hard to fit in when I was in high school.  I pretended I liked bands and I would talk about guys they thought were hot.  I wore what my friends told me to wear and I laughed at all their jokes, even though many were mean and not very funny.  Basically I was their puppet and when I finally spoke up against them I no longer had friends.  It would have been a very lonely year if I didn't have my guys.

Fast forward several years and my girlfriends were still few and far between.  I finally got the courage to come into the scene, and then something amazing happened.

I met the girls.

Suddenly I had girls to laugh with, girls to chat with, and girl hugs coming at me at all angles.   Parties would turn into all night gab fests and giggles. Snugglefests on the bed would be the late night party norm, and silly gags will turn into hilarious stories and longtime running jokes.

Best part?  These girls seemed to like me for me!

I have panic attacks that pop up when I am really nervous about something and am embarrassed when they happen.  I hate crying in front of people, and all panic attacks end with me crying.  As much as I love going to parties, unfortunately I occasionally panic about something (and it is ALWAYS something stupid).  Normally I can hide in my room alone and cry without anyone knowing.  The couple of times I had been caught was with guys and I was horrified.  I was convinced if any of the girls caught me they would avoid me like the plague.

Last Shadowlane I was nervous about something.  I thought I had calmed myself down enough to be okay, but unfortunately right before entering a suite I panicked.  I couldn't breathe and I felt the tears coming.  Not only was I embarrassed that I was panicking about something stupid, I was horrified because I was with a group of my girls.  Not sure what to do, I muttered something about going back to my room, entered the closest stairwell and started crying.

Girls however, don't let other girls run away that easily.  The door opened, and in came two of my girls.  As I started to panic more, hugs and soothing talk came my way.  Instead of laughing at me or rolling their eyes, they calmed me down.  They made me feel better and even talked me into coming back to the party.  They were there for me.

This past weekend I attended the amazing SSNY Christmas Party and was invited to stay in a house in the city with 18 other people.  Super cramp quarters made it hard to escape from any panic attacks.  Long story short, I became nervous about an outfit I said I was going to wear and my anxiety rose to the point of tears.  My poor husband tried to help me as much as he could, but unfortunately when I am like that I can't listen to him. Instead of leaving me alone to freak myself out, he went upstairs and got one of the girls.  When he told her what was going on she quickly came down, and a couple of the other girls who heard what was going on quickly joined her.  Their words and encouragement calmed me down and I realized that I was being stupid.  I never in a million years thought that I would have these amazing ladies in my life.

So in my post party, weepy, cheesy, and droppy sadness, I want to thank all my girls.  From "THE POWER" to my cousins, from tucks to snugglefests on the bed, from giggling when we shouldn't to singing loudly, from piling into cars and other bad idea ideas... thank you.  I could never survive the scene without you and having you in my life makes my life so much better.



 

Sometimes I Just Want It

It was a long work week.  The kind of week where I hate my job and just want to quit.

I'm tired.  I'm cranky.  I don't want to do ANYTHING.

Well, that isn't completely true.

There is ONE thing I want...


The problem is, I know it's been the same type of week for him.

We are both in a place where we are not happy with where we are and what we do.

We want a change and it's a mood killer.

I know what I want... but how do I know that HE wants it too.

What is a girl to do?

I normally get home from work first, and today was one of those days.  I sat on the couch and wondered how to approach it.

Do I just ask?  Do I playfully brat?  Is he too tired to play?

As the clock ticks I wait, and wonder what to do.

Sure enough, he comes home tired.  "I just want to sit for a moment," he says.

So I wait.

I prepare dinner and debate my next move.

I understand where he is coming from.  I feel the same way.  I just want to sit.  Relax.  De-stress from day.

Unfortunately my want is high.  I want to be handled.  I want my hair pulled.  I want to be pulled over his knee, my pants yanked downed, and spanked hard and furiously.

But does he want it too?

Subtle hints don't work.  My fantasy of being dominated is not going to be fulfilled today.  The question in my brain now is, do I give up or do I compromise?

I decide to be assertive.

I walk over to him and smile.  As he smiles back I slowly undo the buckle of my pants and slide them down.  My panties are cute.  White with pink hearts scattered about.  A pair that I know he loves.  I give him a knowing smile as I grab his hands.

"What is this," he asks.

Instead of answering I place myself over his knees.

"I need this tonight," I say.  "Please.  Give me what I need."

He chuckles and smiles down at me.  "You know how to ask," he says.

"Please," I beg.  "Give me what I want."

He slowly pulls my panties down to me knees.  I feel the cool air hit my bare bottom before he begins to rub his hand on my right cheek.  "It is my pleasure," he says.

Then a hard smack. The kind that causes me to gasp and catch my breath.

I smile and close my eyes.  This is what I need.


,