This is a message I shared on my fetlife profile and decided to share it here as well...
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How often has that line been shouted out lately?
It is nothing new, it is just a phrase I have seen more often than usual these past few months.
This phrase tends to be the response of a writer after everyone attacks them for stating their opinion on how all spanko girls are overweight fat chicks, or pros are prostitutes, older women are only jealous of younger women, parties are inclusive, cliquey snob fests… etc etc etc
Some people cheer the person for saying what they are thinking while others call it trolling. Then the line comes out, “Don’t get mad at me for saying what everyone is thinking.”
It makes me shake my head. Yes people will get mad. Why? You are being rude and insulting!
When has it become okay to go around and tell people they are fat or ugly or old? Is it the safety and anonymity of the internet that makes it okay to say anything that we are thinking? Do you go around in real life and tell a large audience of people that they are ugly and stupid? I doubt that you do because you would most likely get your ass kicked.
I know that posting a message will not solve anything and some people will come and ridicule me for even saying anything. However, what happened to good manners?
I don’t like everyone. I’m a human being. Like other humans I have thoughts about others. Do I look at people and have opinions that aren’t always the nicest? Yes. Do I go around and say it? No! Why? Because it is rude and I was taught to have good manners!
I am a 32 year old, overweight female with social anxiety issues and poor self-esteem. I’ve been called fat, ugly, stupid, and crazy, all on this wonderful internet. Yes I have a ridiculous online persona, but behind that persona is a very real person. Why on earth is it okay for you to be this rude to a real person? Did I ask for it because I created a social media profile? Did I ask for it because I wanted to share pictures and stories with the friends I have made in the scene over the years? Was it wrong for me to post a picture because I am “fat” and should know better?
Here is my “don’t get mad at me for telling the truth.” I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you were never taught manners. I feel sorry that you feel entitled to spend your time going around and talking bad about people, pictures, and groups.
People will continue to post offensive remarks and comments. People will continue to fight and defend such remarks. Nothing will change there. But maybe, just maybe, we can take a moment and think, “would I say this to this person if we were standing face to face?”
I can’t control what others do, but I can control what I do. My goal is to be more positive about myself and others. Will people leave rude comments to me? Yes. Will people offend me (along with others) in the fetlife threads? Yes. Do I have to sink to their level? No, I don’t.
